Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

And only 3 days late :)

New Years was a ton of fun. My friends and I were all scrabbling trying to come up with plans of something to do. Our region has a big New Years dance, but we're all getting a little old for that now. Kind of awkward dancing with 14 year olds when you're about ready to graduate ;)

So my friends and I just decided to get together and go out to dinner then show up for the last hour of the dance for fireworks and balloon drop.

The night turned out way better than anticipated :)

Dinner was way fun and the dance wasn't so lame after all!

I'm so bummed I didn't get ANY pictures.

Well, except for this photo strip with my friend ,Justin.
 

 

The photo booth was the hit of the night :)

All of my friends took lots of pictures

(How in heck did I not get a strip!?!)

Oh well :) Anyways fun night. Here's a quote from Jake.

Jake: "Do you guys want to go get ice cream?"

Me: "Sure, I don't care. I just don't know where is going to be open on New Years 12:30 in the morning."

Jake: "Oh yea.. Rats.. Hey do you guys want to go to Smiths and just grab a tub of ice cream?"

Me: I don't care! Sure, whatever you want to do sounds good to me!"

Jake: "No lets not do that.. I don't want to go in.."

Me: "Well I bet McDonalds is open"

Jake: "I don't want McDonald's ice cream I want like real real ice cream."

Me: "Do you really want ice cream?"

Jake: " YES!!!!  IT SOUNDS SO GOOD RIGHT NOW."

Me: "Okay then lets get ice cream!!"

Jake: "Nevermind. I don't know what I want. I'm sleepy and I just want to go to bed."

 

 

This probably doesn't do it justice haha! Jake is the most laid back and chill person on the face of the planet. You could dye all of his clothes orange and he would say, "Oh shoot everything is orange. Bummer." and still wear it all. (Okay that was a weird example, but you get it)

I don't know, Jake just makes me laugh :)

 

I'm really glad that it turned out being a fun night because all I have been doing my entire winter break is sewing and cleaning. I needed a fun day :)

 

LETS TALK GOALS

Yada yada I know y'all could careless what my New Years Goals are, but this is mostly for me :)

If I tell you guys about them I am more likely to uphold them.

-Be more patient

-Maintain a clean room

-Continue reading scriptures/praying/journaling every night

-Pray on knees

-Never drop below 3.0 GPA

-Get YW Medallion

-Run 2x week minimum no exception

 

 

I think that's it :)

All my love, Lauren.

 

A Lot To Say About Nothing

It's been an eventful week, and a difficult week.

And I have a lot to say, about nothing in particular.

Just a lot to say.

 

First of all, I had no idea how big of a cheese ball I am.

My humor, taste in movies, romance.

I am oh so cheesy.

And you know what?

No regrets.

I love being cheesy, I love watching romantic comedies in my pj's and crying in all the sad parts and practically jumping up and down cheering in all the kissing parts.

Yes. Now you all know.

I'm one of those girls, but ahhh do I love it.

So sweet!

 

 

McKenzie.

My best friend.

The one I go to with all my good and bad.

LET ME NOT EXAGGERATE WHEN I SAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WOULD BE WITHOUT HER.

She teaches me so much and she is so smart.

Probably the smartest person I have ever met.

And yesterday she left for college.

Uhh, it aches to say goodbye.

But Provo, you're lucky.

I've been saying goodbye a lot lately and I don't think I can take one more.

Here are some pictures of us, and my favorite memories with her.

And then the dreaded goodbye. :(

 

 

 

 

 

Being sick is awful.

I seem to have had EVERYTHING wrong with me lately.

Infections, cough, migraines, achiness, "that time of the month"

You name it, I've had it.

And accompanied by an awful rash was an awful sigh of depression.

I think I was just so sick and stressed out I lost my mind for a couple days there haha.

But with a trip to the temple and some support from great friends and family I made it through!

I'm just done with being sick.

Getting better and on the road to recovery!

 

I got this nifty planner and I am way too excited about it.

It's purple and has lilacs on the inside.

I has a monthly calendar and DAILY!

I keep looking at it and flipping through the pages and it brings me SO MUCH JOY.

LIKE I CAN'T EVEN. I'M SO HAPPY.

But I can't use it until the 2014.

Life is hard.

 

Advice Corner: Everything happens for a reason.

I know I'm a broken record and it's so cliché but seriously guys.

Everything. Happens. For. A. Reason.

I'll share something personal.

This week 2 am I was miserable.

One of the worst pains I have ever experienced.

It was physical, emotional, physiological, spiritual pain.

Everything ached I can't even explain.

And I prayed and felt pretty angry.

I didn't feel relief when all I wanted was comfort.

But I needed to feel that pain.

Gosh I had to, because the very next day I experienced the most beautiful miracle that I would have never been able to witness if I hadn't survived the pain from the night before.

God answers all prayers, but He has His own timetable.

Trust in it.

Endure it.

And He is waiting to bless you.

My testimony burns tonight.

1 Nephi 20:10

Alma 40: 23

 

Phew writing that took a lot out of me.

I look at the title of my post and laugh because it should probably say

"A Lot To Say About Everything"

but I'm too lazy to change it :);)

So oh well

All my love, Lauren :)

 

 



He Hears My Prayers

Heavenly Father hears my prayers, and He answers me.

Gosh I have no idea how this is all going to come out!

So I will just be blunt and get on with it.

 

Elder Joseph Rosequist.

Not a day goes by I don't miss him, but today I reeeeaaalllllyyyy missed him

The past couple days I participated in an eagle project and a private school in town and it was great, but the whole weekend my heart ached and missed him.

We have so many memories there.

We did an eagle project there last year, and he used to go to that school so there's pictures of him on like every wall..... Or it just seemed like there was.

Anyways, the past couple days I've just missed him.

I've wished he was here.

I'm so proud of him serving a mission, but who wants to say goodbye to a great friend for 2 years?

So last night I prayed.

I prayed I could feel close to him and receive comfort.

I prayed that I could have peace and more than anything just a connection with him.

So I went to church like normal and it was a great day.

I came home and napped and then made dinner for the missionaries coming over.

Our Elders just transferred and we got Sister missionaries!

It was our first Sunday with them(and my first time ever meeting them)

And for some CRAZY reason, I felt prompted to ask if one of the sisters had ever met Elder Rosequist. (She just got out of the MTC)

AND SURE ENOUGH....

 

Yes! She had met Joseph!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

They sat next to eachother at orientation and had met again in the mail room!

And of course she told me allllll about how great and impressed by him she was.

I told y'all he would be the best missionary.

And we talked about him, and it was just what I needed.

It was just what God knew I needed.

I know for a fact that this was an answer to my prayers!

It was just so cool.

 

And that's not the only answer I have got to prayers lately.

It's everything.

It's in every breathe.

In every step I can see The Lord's hand in my life.

There's a short poem here that I love.

It totally describes my life lately.

I am what He gives me, and I am so grateful that He has been so generous.

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 

Goodbye Arizona

This past weekend I got to spend in Arizona with the best family anyone could ever ask for.

Grandma and Grandpa, all the cousins, Aunts and Uncles.

It was such a great mini family reunion.

I flew back home yesterday and ever since my heart has ached.

I know I'm only a state a way and an hour flight, but they feel so far.

And I'm a bit jealous all my cousins get to grow up together, date together, go to school with one another and be best friends.

I'm feeling a little like the forgotten relative over here, but oh well.

I wouldn't trade all my friends and cool people I've met here in dusty ol' Nevada for anything.

But I do want to share with you all some picture of my wonderful time in Arizona.

It really was wonderful.

 

This is my sister Lindsey and I on that super rickety and scary plane. It was making all sorts of really freaky noises.

 

This is what I come home to in Arizona. Miles and miles of strait up farm land, cows, and tractors.

 

This is me holding a 1700nFrench style musket complete with bayonet. This was soooooo cool.

 

That's my really great sun burn I got after only being in Arizona a day.

It was totally worth it though because I floated the river with my cousins and we all got crispy burnt together.

 

Here are all the older cousins playing BS together. I think I have FINALLY discovered how you win.

I can thank my cousin Trevor for the helpful tip.

He's the cute toe head blonde sitting closest to the camera on the right hand side.

 

This is the sunset on the last day. So pretty.

And this has nothing to do with my trip to Arizona, but just a picture of Lindsey and I doing a late night shave ice run. Oh and my dog Roxy. See if you can spot her!

 

 

So I'm really really bummed we spent the whole weekend having so much fun that we forgot to take a big group family picture. Grrrrr, I'm going to be kicking myself for that one forever!

Not to mention the really bad quality of the pictures in this post.

Curse my shaking hand!

Oh well, nothing to do about it now!

But all in all my weekend get away was just what I needed.

I miss my family.

I love my family.

And with that being said I will return again soon.

 

All my love, Lauren.



Goodbye July!

I'm not going to lie, July sucked. And I am absolutely thrilled it's over.

Even though I look back now and the whole month felt like 5 minutes.

It's August now, and I put my big girl pants on, did my hair and makeup, then turned on some good country music to get ready to and I'm not going to lie it feels good to feel sassy.

July I decided to take a break from blogging for the fear that I would rant and say something unfiltered. BUT I'M BACK! I'm sure you were all dying to hear from me.

 

 

So what's new lately?

I've been feeling extra crafty sewing all kinds of stuff.

So far I have made pocket warmers for my friends serving missions and for the cold winter months, a turban wrap headband, and an infinity scarf.

Woohoo! Not to mention working on that big "Open when" Letter project!

 

 

School starts in under a month. Is this real life?

Am I really going to finally be an upper classman?

Last year I didn't go to a single sports event, so I'm changing that this year.

Count on seeing me in the stands for just about every sport because I really missed that this past year. I have already been in high school 2 years and hardly have had any high school experiences.

Probably because I have had the "I just cant get out of here sooner" attitude, but I', changing that this year. I want to be happy more.

I want to enjoy school, I want to make friends, make memories, and have fun.

 

 

The job hunt is on.

I really really want and need a job, yet again... I don't want a job.

Ughh. I've applied a couple places but so far nothing. Really crossing my fingers for Einstein Bagels.

 

 

When is it going to start cooling off?

I can't take this summer heat much longer.

 

 

I've spent the past two years on my life in jeans and t-shirts.

If somebody asked me what my style is I would say comfortable. Haha is that a style?

But, going back to what I said about making this school year different.... I actually want to get dressed for this year. And if I get a job..... I may actually have money to buy nice things haha.

Really praying for that job.

So I have been on Pinterest trying to discover my "style"

and I have discovered that I like preppy and simplistic clothing.

I'm not a flashy neon color, high low skirt, maxi dress wearing girl.

I like polos, and sweaters over button ups, and sperrys.

If you can't tell I'm starting to get really excited about discovering my fashion identity.

 

 

 

So I think I have covered all the bases.

This blog post was all about trying to play catch up so sorry if I bored you to death, but I promise I have a month of really really good blog ideas coming your way soon.

So stay tuned!

 

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Mail for Missionaries

Is it seriously July already? SERIOUSLY!?

You all know that boy I seem to talk about a little too much? Yea well he leaves on his mission in what is it now.. 22 DAYS?

I thought I had more time, but let me tell you, it goes by fast.

Anyways, when I realized my time was cut so short to find Elder Rosequist a gift before he left I about had a heart attack.

I want something that he will actually be able to use and not just sit on his night stand until the next transfer.

I want to give his something that will make him laugh and cry and feel a little bit more at home!

It can't be heavy or bulky because he has to lug it around for 2 years.

Everyone will be getting him ties.

So that's when it hit me ya'll, and thank goodness for Pinterest...

"Open When..." Letters!

If you don't know what Open When letters are they are letters you write ahead of time and label then "Open When..... (fill in occasion)"

A couple of my ideas were:

-you are sick

-you leave the MTC

-need encouragement

-the weather is bad

-you are home sick

-miss me

-you need a pump of patriotism

-you need to be uplifted

-you get your first baptism

-you need a good laugh

-you have 6 months left

-its the last day of your mission

 

 

 

And to make this idea even cuter! This is where Pinterest comes in Make your own envelopes!

I swear to you it's totally worth it!

They come out soooooooooo cute! And I'm going to show you how to do it!
Thank me later.
 

Start with a store bought envelope that is the size you want your envelopes to turn out. This is going to be your template.

 

Next break the seams on the envelope and unfold it.

 

 

Place the envelope on the construction paper, scrapbook paper, cardstock, or whatever you used. I used a mix of cardstock and scrapbook paper for cute designs.

 

 

Then trace the envelope, make sure when you are tracing you trace very sharp corners and straight lines. If you mess up the markings retrace or when you fold it back up it may not fit together right.

 

 

 

It will look like this when you're done tracing.

 

 

 

Next cut your trace again with very sharp edges.

 

 

 

Voila! Now it's time to fold!

 

 

I always start folding with the bottom flap (the one with a dull edge.) Then each of the side flaps. This is tricky, so make sure when you are folding the flaps over they line up perfectly.

Glue where the arrow lines are then press over onto the middle flap. You can use liquid glue, a glue stick, mod podge, or a hot glue gun which is what I used. I just think it's sturdier and less messy.

 

 

And there you have your envelope!

  I even got a little bit witty with my envelope design choice. I'm using this one for the patriotic letter.

 

... And this one for "The Last Letter" Haha! Sometimes I think I'm so funny!

 

 

 

 

 

To fill the envelopes I filled some(most) with letters. I filled some with talks and uplifting quotes.

Stories or inside jokes.

I plan on putting a tie in one so he can spruce up his wardrobe when it's needed.

And a little bit of spending money when his guy appetite needs to be fed.

You can use these "Open When" letters for a missionary or just for cute cardstock, but feel free to use any of my ideas!

 

 

All my love, Lauren

 



Wonderstruck

So this past week I have been at girls camp!

And that was crazy and wonderful and a week of a lifetime that I never want to forget, but this blog post is not about girls camp.

This blog post is about an unexpected turn of events in my attempt to create tradition.

Ok I will explain.

 

 

Last year after girls camp I invited Joseph over for dinner the day I got back.

I wanted to tell him every little detail about everything.

He came over and I made lasagna and we talked and played games all night and it was so much fun.

So this year I thought it would be such a great idea to have him over again!

I made lasagna just like I did the year before and already planned all the stories I would tell him and all the games we would get to play and I was a little bit giddy.

Well Joseph seemed to be running on MST Mormon Standard Time.

He was extra late coming home from working on his farm and I know how much hard work that is and that its easy to run late so I just cut him some slack and put a plate together for him and through it in the fridge to warm up when he got here.

Well another change of plans, he sometimes cleans an office building and I guess he needed to do it that night.

So no games.

My super fun start of a tradition night that I planned was looking like a disaster, but I decided to go with him and clean this office with him which I had done before.

And let me tell you, I wouldn't have traded the night for anything in the whole world.

We spent a little time at his house before heading over to the office.

His home is heaven on earth, in a way I cant even begin to explain.

I think it's how his dad hugs me and gives me a couple good squeezes when he sees me, welcoming me home. And standing at the front door smelling an amazing home cooked meal.

I think it's spirit that melts away contentions, but that's not even the best part of the night.

I love the car rides that require no music because the constant laughter and conversation fills the air.

I love the quiet moments we all feel perfectly content without needing to say a word.

I love popping out from behind corners to scare Joseph and his brother when we are cleaning and singing and dancing with my broom, and being silly and messing around.

I love long hugs when I'm being dropped off and I love how the simplest things in the world can mean the most when they are done with people we love.

 

 

AND ITS WONDERFUL

 

Because it struck me in that moment.

It was a perfectly unexpected night and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Words of Wisdom

Lately I have made it a point to ask for advice. /it all started a couple weeks ago when my friends were passing around this horoscope app on their phone. Horoscopes are total bull and I usually never waste my time with them but In the odd occasion we read mine and it was hilariously accurate. It probably could have been fitting for 50% of the population and I just fell in there, but it was ironic, and hilarious and apparently I need lots of help. So here I am, inspired and thirsting for advice!

 

I have asked a large range of people from my best friend, to strangers, to the churches missionaries. I asked for one piece of advice on life and one bit of relationship advice. I have gotten some really great stuff back. Here are a few of my favorites!

 

LOVE

 

Communicate. Often times the source of problems in a relationship is bad communication so don't wait to tell the person how you feel about something whether it is good or bad. Be ready to talk and understand and solve the problem at hand. If they do something you like tell them! Share the joy and let them know that you appreciated what they did!

 

Don't kiss your boy friends best friend in revenge. It will just be bad for everyone.

 

Timing is everything, slow and steady wins the race.

 

Really get to know the person you are dating. Take a sincere interesting in getting to know them and who they really are. Don't rush into the idea of being in love, instead take things slowly and enjoy getting to know them. Really, really getting to know them. It's so common in the LDS culture to spend little time dating before rushing into marriage but make sure you know who the person you are dating and if you want to spend your life with them.

 

Don't be close minded, date lots of people and do lots of things. Other wise how will you know what you really like?

 

LIFE

 

 

Pray about everything. Every decision, every opinion. Pray in faith that you will get an answer then be ready to accept it.

 

 

Don't worry about what other people think about you because God made you the way you are now for a reason. Do what you want and say what you want (not bad) because you should be happy. Don't care what other people might think.

 

 

Be patient, people are going to frustrate you and make you really mad all the time, but what can you do? Being angry isn't going to help anyone! Just forgive them and be patient. Life will go on, there are so many other and better things you can focus your energy on.

 

 

Never procrastinate the day of your repentance.

 

 

Whatever you are going through, the answer is to always keep your eye on the temple and your relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ stronger then any other relationship in your life.

 

 

 

So I guess I just have some pretty awesome people in my life who are incredibly wise.

I'm feeling extraordinarily blessed.

So I suppose I should leave you all with my advice.

 

For life, wherever you are whatever you do be in love. Even when you are going through a really crappy time find something to be absolutely ridiculously head over heels in love with. Find something you can focus all your energy on and just be happy! Don't let the storm sink you! Adjust your sails!

 

For relationships, don't change who you are to please anyone. If they love you they should be falling in love with YOU. Not someone who adjusted their personality to appeal to that said person. Just be you! Or you will never be happy and may end up resenting the person you changed for. I'm not saying be stubborn and not willing to progress, because I am not saying that at all. In a relationship both people should be expected to give a little and make sacrifices to accommodate but don't change who you are as a person to fit somebody else's ideal.

 

These are things I really wish I had learned sooner, I speak from experience. But all I can do now is just move forward, focus myself in the Lord and give gratitude for all that I have been blessed to learn.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 P.S. Feel free, in fact I am encouraging you to leave a bit of advice for me below un that little comment box!

 

 



When Exhastion Takes Over

I have been up every night the past two week until at least 12.

AT LEAST. Up journaling, reading scriptures, projects, homework. It's unbelievable really. Lack of sleep is starting to take over, but thank goodness only 2 more real days of school right? All my projects are in and I'm feeling good for the most part. I'm just ready for summer to start. to get a full night of sleep.

 

So mostly I'm just trying to play catch up and let y'all know what I have been up to. Thank goodness my blog isn't a child or a pet because it would probably be dead by now. I apologize again.

So where were we..?

 

 

Elder David Scherf is now an official missionary. Woah, felt like yesterday we were walking around neighborhoods passing out flyers and taking polls for the presidential campaign but I guess it was really 7 months ago. It's depressing how time flys. I feel like I never got enough time with him. All those times he invited me over to watch movies or go out to eat I'm regretting a little too much that I turned down. I miss him, I will miss his stories and I will miss his advice, but he's only 7-8 business days away! Czech/Slovakia is very lucky. Well currently the MTC is very lucky but you get the point. He's a great guy and will serve an uber wonderful and faithful mission. I'm excited to see all he will accomplish.

 

 

 

I'm trying this dating thing out. It's hard. I don't think I will ever get a hang of it. Being so natural and comfortable with one person is easy, then you try to mix it up and date around more and then all the sudden I'm a beginner again. This sucks, but I guess I have got to live what I am always preaching.

 

So recently I have realized I only have like 3 good friends. Many friends but only 3 friends. You know the solid stick with ya ones? I think I value the concept quality over quantity so there is that. It's not a good or bad thing, just an odd realization.

 

 

SO I AM TOTALLY TICKED AT MYSELF. I never wrote about this super awesome race I ran in a couple weeks ago?! Grr... Really? Where have I been? Because this was monumental to me. I was invited to go to another stake's track meet. There was a 5k and some sprints/relays. The 5k was amazing, I ran it with this adorable 11 year old. I can't explain the bonding we had but we were besties by the end of this race. I loved her, she's what kept me going. Then I ran in the sprints! I subbed for the Young Women position for a ward in the stake and it was intense. First a Relief Society woman would run, then pass it to a Primary child, who passed it to the Young Woman me, who then passed it to an Elder who took it home. I was ready. Only I would take this silly little track meet and race so seriously, but I was there. Standing at my starting line. I watched us take an early lead once the Primary kid got ahead of the crowd and passed it to the Young Man who was flying. He got closer and closer to me, it seemed like he was flying he was running so fast then next thing you know I picked up his momentum and was running right along side of him. I finished my 100 before passing it to the Elder and there were no Young Women running beside me. That was a great feeling. I love going fast. We won too! And I got this cute little trophy, I adore it. I set it up in my room. I know it's cheesey but hey, it finally feels good to be good at something.

 

And that's about it! I went to Hawaii and cracked my head open, but that's no big deal. If you really want to know just leave me a comment and I will create a post with all the juicy details, but I doubt there is anyone that interested.

 

All my love, Lauren.



Tender Mercies

Here I am. Brought once again to my laptop at ridiculous hours in the night.

Seminary in the morning, I have been up since four am and working all day, but hey I can't control the random urges of inspiration and when I receive them. All I know is that when I witness such a miracle as I did today, it needs to be documented. And quick, so I don't forget a single precious detail. I hope I can remember it all.

 

 

Babysitting is an... adventure sigh. Most of the time it means dirty diapers, crying, make shift meals and bed time stories, but every once and a while something amazing happens. Like tonight, I babysat for a women in my ward at church with a touching story. Recently divorced she is working more then ever and readjusting to single parent life. She is amazing. My sister took on the job of babysitting her 3 kids while she took a 3 day trip to a neighboring state to take care of some business. My sister who is juggling a few jobs called on me to watch her kids today so she could work and this job was not like the rest.

 

We played, made dinner, attempted the dishes and snuggled on the couch to watch Bubble Guppies.

Her kids were so loving and affectionate towards me. They latched onto arms, legs, my torso, always gave me kisses and hugs. I ate it up of course. Who would deny 3 of the cutest most lovable kids on Earth? When it started to get later I brought 2 of the 3 kids upstairs for a bath because one of them was at sports practice. These kids were unbelievable- in the good way. They humor me. Seriously they are hilarious. I fixed their bath tub with bubbles and turned on the jets and we had a hay day. They bathed for a good 45 minutes and just had a blast! I threw them in the shower to rinse off then wrapped them like a burrito in their towels and carried them like babies to their bed. I dressed them and read them a story in the usual night time ritual before bed and when I was finished the older girl asked me if I could lay in their Mom's bed with them until they fell asleep.

 

She and her younger brother asked me to tickle their backs until they fell asleep. It was precious. It was so odd in that moment too. Wasn't I just 4 laying in my bed and getting my back rubbed by my Mom? It hit me that in a minimum of 2 years I could have my own family. Super weird. Honestly it's in the back of your mind "Oh one day" and " I can't wait to make my Pinterest house!" but when it hits you like that I promise the experience is unreal. It was an unreal experience to have these two little and perfect kids snuggled up to me. I felt so incredibly blessed to have angels in my presence. The little girl told me stories about her school and friends and her Mom, that she missed her and wanted so badly for her to be home. She told me how much she hated her Mom's job and that it took her Mom away from her so much. And it broke my heart to hear this all coming from a six year old. What was I worrying about as a six year old? Certainly not the things she was, and my heart aches.

 

I realized why these kids were so sweet and perfect and it was because of who the little people they are becoming. I honestly held in my tears and just held them closer because I was so lucky to be given this moment with them.

 

I went down stairs and waited for the little boy to return home so I could bathe him and put him to bed. I took him upstairs and washed him then took him into his room so I could have a moment just to spend with him talking about his sports and his day and how he was feeling. I realized how important it was to give each of the children their own moment where they could be the only thing that mattered. And that mattered to him. I tickled his back for a few minutes before bringing him to his Mom's bed where the other kids slept. He asked me to lay down with them so I stayed and let all the peace and sweet countenance of their spirits overcome me again.

 

I haven't had a quite moment of peace and reflection for a while and that is just what I needed.

Little children asleep have never looked so beautiful. It was a sight to see, I wish I could print out this mental photograph and keep it forever. It was so sweet and innocent the experience is almost indescribable. My heart softened and I understood the love their Mother must feel every night tucking them in. I got a glimpse of the love every Mother feels for her child and I'm sure the feeling I had doesn't even compare. I understood how hard it must be for their Mom to be away from her kids so she can provide for them. My heart break a little more. And I have so much more respect for any single parent out there, and families as a whole.

 

I can definitely wait until I have my own kids, but I can't wait for the day I finally do. I will be so lucky.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Back To December

I'm trying to think of what I want to say and how to say it. I know what I want to say but it could all come out 100 different ways and its so stressful trying to figure out how to put it all together, but I promised I would share monumental parts of my story (life) if I thought it could in some way help others. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. So here goes nothing.

 

My friend Joseph, the one I mentioned in my blog post Head First, Fearless got his mission call. In order to understand what this means to me I will have to give you all a little background information. I will start with how we met.

 

December 23, 2011 I was invited to my church with the other youth to play a game called fugitive, everyone dresses in black and it basically a giant game of cops and robbers. I don't usually go to these activities they invited me to because I was really active in the church and I didn't feel like I fit in or knew anybody, but my events for the night ended on a sudden cancelation of plans and I didn't want to spend the night just sitting around so I decided to go. I got dropped off at the church and it was freezing cold so I looked around and hopped into a random car I saw on e of the girls in my ward sitting in. We were talking for a minute before I asked who's car it was. She pointed out a guy who I later came to know as Joseph. I thought he was extremely cute standing in front of the car laughing within a group of guys. It felt like a movie moment, time standing still, me looking all starry eyed as I can imagine. I really wanted to know him. I imagine him laughing right now when I make him read this later. So the game started and I didn't see this Joseph until that round had finished and we all ended up in the neighborhood park. This is when we came up to me and introduced himself. I hopped in the shot gun of his car and we became fast friends. From that moment a year and a half ago to now he has become one of my best friends today. Over the time span of one and a half year I have become active in the church again and I give so much credit of that to him. He has always been such an example to me and motivation to be better. He's constantly teaching me lessons about life, family, the church. He is constantly teaching me about service and missionary work and how to love and the best part is that he teaches all by example. He shows me how to be better.

Here's the background story I was nervous about sharing. A week before I met Joseph I had a long prayer with my Father in Heaven, and my first one in a long time. I wanted to come back to the church so badly, I wanted to change so much and feel accepted again. I wanted to repent and rediscover the truth I knew existed but I needed help. I knew I couldn't do it on my own because I had been trying for several months and changing had been so ineffective so I prayed for someone to come into my life and help me and show me the way. That person was Joseph, and I knew it the second I saw him that God had sent into my life the closest I have ever come to an angel. In that first moment that I saw him the moment is the same every time I see him. It's confirmed every time we are together that he was brought into my life to help guide me back to the iron rod. After we became friends everything became so easy. I began to journal every single night, then it was easy to add in prayer every night, and that eventually led me to studying the BOM and Scriptures every night which has become the foundation of my testimony. I know now with a certainty and fiery burning in my soul that this church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was the Prophet that restored the Gospel on the earth, that He truly saw The Son and The Father in the Sacred Grove. I know that Christ is my Savior and my King and he suffered for all my sins, and everyone's making the Atonement real. I know the God is the Father and He loves me and is aware of me. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the true and living Prophet today and I know for a fact that if I am righteous, obedient, and faithful I can return to live in Heaven with my Savior again.

I am so blessed that Joseph came into my life when he did, and I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father sending him. The work and service he did for me will affect so many. I am so grateful.

 

Joseph leaving on his mission is such a huge deal for me because it scares me. I'm scared that I wont be able to stand with such strength when he's gone, and even though my testimony is strong and I know that what I know is true I wont have his constant reminder beside me.

 

All these thoughts came into my mind yesterday when he finally opened his call. I had anticipated it for a couple of weeks, but when the moment came to really find out where he was going and when, I kind of lost it. All my fears came alive. Would I see him after his mission or would we lose contact? Will I be able to stay strong? What am I going to do when he's gone and no longer just a call or text message away? He hugged me and I cried. Maybe if I held on extra tight I could freeze time again and get my thoughts straight and pull myself together. I had to put on a smile the rest of the right because I was helping my Mom out with an activity that was going on at out house but the second everyone left I was upstairs sitting on the floor of my shower sobbing trying to figure it all out. I couldn't figure it out myself so I knelt down in the shower and prayed. I let the water run over my back for a good 10 minutes while I poured out my soul and when I was finally finished I stood up, wiped my tears and let the over whelming peace flood over me. While I have found myself this past year and a half leaning on Joseph when grounds were shaky I realized it is not time to lean on Christ. Joseph would leave and go serve his mission and I will be absolutely fine. 

 

I instantly had a greater understanding that he would be a part of such a bigger piece of work then staying behind and making sure I was on track. He will be spending the next 2 years of his life being The Lord's hands and The Lord's mouthpiece. He would be leaving his family for 2 years, so other families could be together for eternity, and I cant think of anything more important then that. So for the past day I have been nothing but joyful. I know that sometime in the next 2 years I will have rough days and wish that he could come over and talk me through it, I know that I will miss him, and I know that I will cry, but I also know that I can call on my Savior in Heaven who will gladly take my pain away.

 

 

 

 

This is Joseph. And this is the moment I found out he was going to be serving in the Denver, Colorado mission. Have I ever mentioned that this guy gives the best hugs in the history of the world? I wish I could buy them at the store and bottle them up, then give myself one on a bad day cause these things are killer. Will knock a frown right off your face every single time. And I am SO proud of him. I have never met a person in my life so eager to serve! I'm not exaggerating when I say he will make the best missionary in the whole world. I'm hoping this all makes him very embarrassed :) And I am so ready for him to start this new chapter in his life. Gosh it will be a great one.

 

All my love, Lauren.