Goodbye July!

I'm not going to lie, July sucked. And I am absolutely thrilled it's over.

Even though I look back now and the whole month felt like 5 minutes.

It's August now, and I put my big girl pants on, did my hair and makeup, then turned on some good country music to get ready to and I'm not going to lie it feels good to feel sassy.

July I decided to take a break from blogging for the fear that I would rant and say something unfiltered. BUT I'M BACK! I'm sure you were all dying to hear from me.

 

 

So what's new lately?

I've been feeling extra crafty sewing all kinds of stuff.

So far I have made pocket warmers for my friends serving missions and for the cold winter months, a turban wrap headband, and an infinity scarf.

Woohoo! Not to mention working on that big "Open when" Letter project!

 

 

School starts in under a month. Is this real life?

Am I really going to finally be an upper classman?

Last year I didn't go to a single sports event, so I'm changing that this year.

Count on seeing me in the stands for just about every sport because I really missed that this past year. I have already been in high school 2 years and hardly have had any high school experiences.

Probably because I have had the "I just cant get out of here sooner" attitude, but I', changing that this year. I want to be happy more.

I want to enjoy school, I want to make friends, make memories, and have fun.

 

 

The job hunt is on.

I really really want and need a job, yet again... I don't want a job.

Ughh. I've applied a couple places but so far nothing. Really crossing my fingers for Einstein Bagels.

 

 

When is it going to start cooling off?

I can't take this summer heat much longer.

 

 

I've spent the past two years on my life in jeans and t-shirts.

If somebody asked me what my style is I would say comfortable. Haha is that a style?

But, going back to what I said about making this school year different.... I actually want to get dressed for this year. And if I get a job..... I may actually have money to buy nice things haha.

Really praying for that job.

So I have been on Pinterest trying to discover my "style"

and I have discovered that I like preppy and simplistic clothing.

I'm not a flashy neon color, high low skirt, maxi dress wearing girl.

I like polos, and sweaters over button ups, and sperrys.

If you can't tell I'm starting to get really excited about discovering my fashion identity.

 

 

 

So I think I have covered all the bases.

This blog post was all about trying to play catch up so sorry if I bored you to death, but I promise I have a month of really really good blog ideas coming your way soon.

So stay tuned!

 

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Wonderstruck

So this past week I have been at girls camp!

And that was crazy and wonderful and a week of a lifetime that I never want to forget, but this blog post is not about girls camp.

This blog post is about an unexpected turn of events in my attempt to create tradition.

Ok I will explain.

 

 

Last year after girls camp I invited Joseph over for dinner the day I got back.

I wanted to tell him every little detail about everything.

He came over and I made lasagna and we talked and played games all night and it was so much fun.

So this year I thought it would be such a great idea to have him over again!

I made lasagna just like I did the year before and already planned all the stories I would tell him and all the games we would get to play and I was a little bit giddy.

Well Joseph seemed to be running on MST Mormon Standard Time.

He was extra late coming home from working on his farm and I know how much hard work that is and that its easy to run late so I just cut him some slack and put a plate together for him and through it in the fridge to warm up when he got here.

Well another change of plans, he sometimes cleans an office building and I guess he needed to do it that night.

So no games.

My super fun start of a tradition night that I planned was looking like a disaster, but I decided to go with him and clean this office with him which I had done before.

And let me tell you, I wouldn't have traded the night for anything in the whole world.

We spent a little time at his house before heading over to the office.

His home is heaven on earth, in a way I cant even begin to explain.

I think it's how his dad hugs me and gives me a couple good squeezes when he sees me, welcoming me home. And standing at the front door smelling an amazing home cooked meal.

I think it's spirit that melts away contentions, but that's not even the best part of the night.

I love the car rides that require no music because the constant laughter and conversation fills the air.

I love the quiet moments we all feel perfectly content without needing to say a word.

I love popping out from behind corners to scare Joseph and his brother when we are cleaning and singing and dancing with my broom, and being silly and messing around.

I love long hugs when I'm being dropped off and I love how the simplest things in the world can mean the most when they are done with people we love.

 

 

AND ITS WONDERFUL

 

Because it struck me in that moment.

It was a perfectly unexpected night and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

When Exhastion Takes Over

I have been up every night the past two week until at least 12.

AT LEAST. Up journaling, reading scriptures, projects, homework. It's unbelievable really. Lack of sleep is starting to take over, but thank goodness only 2 more real days of school right? All my projects are in and I'm feeling good for the most part. I'm just ready for summer to start. to get a full night of sleep.

 

So mostly I'm just trying to play catch up and let y'all know what I have been up to. Thank goodness my blog isn't a child or a pet because it would probably be dead by now. I apologize again.

So where were we..?

 

 

Elder David Scherf is now an official missionary. Woah, felt like yesterday we were walking around neighborhoods passing out flyers and taking polls for the presidential campaign but I guess it was really 7 months ago. It's depressing how time flys. I feel like I never got enough time with him. All those times he invited me over to watch movies or go out to eat I'm regretting a little too much that I turned down. I miss him, I will miss his stories and I will miss his advice, but he's only 7-8 business days away! Czech/Slovakia is very lucky. Well currently the MTC is very lucky but you get the point. He's a great guy and will serve an uber wonderful and faithful mission. I'm excited to see all he will accomplish.

 

 

 

I'm trying this dating thing out. It's hard. I don't think I will ever get a hang of it. Being so natural and comfortable with one person is easy, then you try to mix it up and date around more and then all the sudden I'm a beginner again. This sucks, but I guess I have got to live what I am always preaching.

 

So recently I have realized I only have like 3 good friends. Many friends but only 3 friends. You know the solid stick with ya ones? I think I value the concept quality over quantity so there is that. It's not a good or bad thing, just an odd realization.

 

 

SO I AM TOTALLY TICKED AT MYSELF. I never wrote about this super awesome race I ran in a couple weeks ago?! Grr... Really? Where have I been? Because this was monumental to me. I was invited to go to another stake's track meet. There was a 5k and some sprints/relays. The 5k was amazing, I ran it with this adorable 11 year old. I can't explain the bonding we had but we were besties by the end of this race. I loved her, she's what kept me going. Then I ran in the sprints! I subbed for the Young Women position for a ward in the stake and it was intense. First a Relief Society woman would run, then pass it to a Primary child, who passed it to the Young Woman me, who then passed it to an Elder who took it home. I was ready. Only I would take this silly little track meet and race so seriously, but I was there. Standing at my starting line. I watched us take an early lead once the Primary kid got ahead of the crowd and passed it to the Young Man who was flying. He got closer and closer to me, it seemed like he was flying he was running so fast then next thing you know I picked up his momentum and was running right along side of him. I finished my 100 before passing it to the Elder and there were no Young Women running beside me. That was a great feeling. I love going fast. We won too! And I got this cute little trophy, I adore it. I set it up in my room. I know it's cheesey but hey, it finally feels good to be good at something.

 

And that's about it! I went to Hawaii and cracked my head open, but that's no big deal. If you really want to know just leave me a comment and I will create a post with all the juicy details, but I doubt there is anyone that interested.

 

All my love, Lauren.



Back To December

I'm trying to think of what I want to say and how to say it. I know what I want to say but it could all come out 100 different ways and its so stressful trying to figure out how to put it all together, but I promised I would share monumental parts of my story (life) if I thought it could in some way help others. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. So here goes nothing.

 

My friend Joseph, the one I mentioned in my blog post Head First, Fearless got his mission call. In order to understand what this means to me I will have to give you all a little background information. I will start with how we met.

 

December 23, 2011 I was invited to my church with the other youth to play a game called fugitive, everyone dresses in black and it basically a giant game of cops and robbers. I don't usually go to these activities they invited me to because I was really active in the church and I didn't feel like I fit in or knew anybody, but my events for the night ended on a sudden cancelation of plans and I didn't want to spend the night just sitting around so I decided to go. I got dropped off at the church and it was freezing cold so I looked around and hopped into a random car I saw on e of the girls in my ward sitting in. We were talking for a minute before I asked who's car it was. She pointed out a guy who I later came to know as Joseph. I thought he was extremely cute standing in front of the car laughing within a group of guys. It felt like a movie moment, time standing still, me looking all starry eyed as I can imagine. I really wanted to know him. I imagine him laughing right now when I make him read this later. So the game started and I didn't see this Joseph until that round had finished and we all ended up in the neighborhood park. This is when we came up to me and introduced himself. I hopped in the shot gun of his car and we became fast friends. From that moment a year and a half ago to now he has become one of my best friends today. Over the time span of one and a half year I have become active in the church again and I give so much credit of that to him. He has always been such an example to me and motivation to be better. He's constantly teaching me lessons about life, family, the church. He is constantly teaching me about service and missionary work and how to love and the best part is that he teaches all by example. He shows me how to be better.

Here's the background story I was nervous about sharing. A week before I met Joseph I had a long prayer with my Father in Heaven, and my first one in a long time. I wanted to come back to the church so badly, I wanted to change so much and feel accepted again. I wanted to repent and rediscover the truth I knew existed but I needed help. I knew I couldn't do it on my own because I had been trying for several months and changing had been so ineffective so I prayed for someone to come into my life and help me and show me the way. That person was Joseph, and I knew it the second I saw him that God had sent into my life the closest I have ever come to an angel. In that first moment that I saw him the moment is the same every time I see him. It's confirmed every time we are together that he was brought into my life to help guide me back to the iron rod. After we became friends everything became so easy. I began to journal every single night, then it was easy to add in prayer every night, and that eventually led me to studying the BOM and Scriptures every night which has become the foundation of my testimony. I know now with a certainty and fiery burning in my soul that this church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was the Prophet that restored the Gospel on the earth, that He truly saw The Son and The Father in the Sacred Grove. I know that Christ is my Savior and my King and he suffered for all my sins, and everyone's making the Atonement real. I know the God is the Father and He loves me and is aware of me. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the true and living Prophet today and I know for a fact that if I am righteous, obedient, and faithful I can return to live in Heaven with my Savior again.

I am so blessed that Joseph came into my life when he did, and I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father sending him. The work and service he did for me will affect so many. I am so grateful.

 

Joseph leaving on his mission is such a huge deal for me because it scares me. I'm scared that I wont be able to stand with such strength when he's gone, and even though my testimony is strong and I know that what I know is true I wont have his constant reminder beside me.

 

All these thoughts came into my mind yesterday when he finally opened his call. I had anticipated it for a couple of weeks, but when the moment came to really find out where he was going and when, I kind of lost it. All my fears came alive. Would I see him after his mission or would we lose contact? Will I be able to stay strong? What am I going to do when he's gone and no longer just a call or text message away? He hugged me and I cried. Maybe if I held on extra tight I could freeze time again and get my thoughts straight and pull myself together. I had to put on a smile the rest of the right because I was helping my Mom out with an activity that was going on at out house but the second everyone left I was upstairs sitting on the floor of my shower sobbing trying to figure it all out. I couldn't figure it out myself so I knelt down in the shower and prayed. I let the water run over my back for a good 10 minutes while I poured out my soul and when I was finally finished I stood up, wiped my tears and let the over whelming peace flood over me. While I have found myself this past year and a half leaning on Joseph when grounds were shaky I realized it is not time to lean on Christ. Joseph would leave and go serve his mission and I will be absolutely fine. 

 

I instantly had a greater understanding that he would be a part of such a bigger piece of work then staying behind and making sure I was on track. He will be spending the next 2 years of his life being The Lord's hands and The Lord's mouthpiece. He would be leaving his family for 2 years, so other families could be together for eternity, and I cant think of anything more important then that. So for the past day I have been nothing but joyful. I know that sometime in the next 2 years I will have rough days and wish that he could come over and talk me through it, I know that I will miss him, and I know that I will cry, but I also know that I can call on my Savior in Heaven who will gladly take my pain away.

 

 

 

 

This is Joseph. And this is the moment I found out he was going to be serving in the Denver, Colorado mission. Have I ever mentioned that this guy gives the best hugs in the history of the world? I wish I could buy them at the store and bottle them up, then give myself one on a bad day cause these things are killer. Will knock a frown right off your face every single time. And I am SO proud of him. I have never met a person in my life so eager to serve! I'm not exaggerating when I say he will make the best missionary in the whole world. I'm hoping this all makes him very embarrassed :) And I am so ready for him to start this new chapter in his life. Gosh it will be a great one.

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

A Perfectly Good Heart

Boy talk. I've had my fair share of crushes, breakups, makeups, fall outs, and misunderstandings but boys have never in my life been more difficult or confusing as they are right now. I turned 16 a month ago and being mormon thats kind of a big deal. Its a big deal no matter how old you are! You can date, drive, work, you become "double the age of accountability" and you get a whole knew level of responsibility. This should be the time of my life right?

I don't mean to complain, Im pretty happy in my life! I guess Im just saying that dating is hard! Ever since the mission age change for guys turned to 18 I feel like every guy I talk to wants a girlfriend of MG (missionary girlfriend) and one day I hope I get that opportunity, but I just want to date! I want to go out on lots of dates and get to know lots of different people. I want to explore different personalities and find out what I like. If I don't ever try it how will I ever know what I could have missed out on?

When I was younger and watched my older sister and friends go out on dates it seemed like everyone had a date every weekend! Mormons are famous for loving going on dates right? All the sudden I turned 16 and nobody seems to be an active dater anymore? I have even heard some of my guy friends complain about not going on any dates!? What did you expect? That girls would pick up that initiative? Sorry no, I would feel like Im taking your man card. I guess to sum up my rant, girl want to go on dates, boys want to go on date, girls don't want to ask, guys its your job to so start asking!

I know that is extremely bold of me to say, but definitely needed to be said.

All my love, Lauren.