Enduring Love

I'm sorry I seem to have so much to say lately.

A couple weeks ago the missionaries in my ward showed me a Mormon Message.

They warned me that I might cry (Not a shock because I cry at everything), but boy is this powerful.

I was writing my bestfriend tonight who is on his mission and I remembered this video.

I had to share it with you guys.

 

 

Isn't that beautiful.

I love the scripture they opened the video with..."Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." -Ephesians 5:25

That's what got the water works going and gets me every time.

 

While I hope that as I grow old I can remain healthy, I know that things happen that aren't planned.

And you can't control the situation or the circumstances, but you can control how you handle them.

And lets talk about how sweet that husband was.

I feel like no matter how much I say no compliment could do him justice.

I guess writing my bestfriend reminded me of this video because I can picture his parents.

Both of them are very much healthy, but the kind of love that was displayed in this video is that of the love they have.

The love I hope to someday have.

And I know I can have if my life and marriage is centered around Christ and the gospel.

 

Anyways, I'm glad I could share. I love that video so much.

 

All my love, Lauren.



Words of Wisdom

Lately I have made it a point to ask for advice. /it all started a couple weeks ago when my friends were passing around this horoscope app on their phone. Horoscopes are total bull and I usually never waste my time with them but In the odd occasion we read mine and it was hilariously accurate. It probably could have been fitting for 50% of the population and I just fell in there, but it was ironic, and hilarious and apparently I need lots of help. So here I am, inspired and thirsting for advice!

 

I have asked a large range of people from my best friend, to strangers, to the churches missionaries. I asked for one piece of advice on life and one bit of relationship advice. I have gotten some really great stuff back. Here are a few of my favorites!

 

LOVE

 

Communicate. Often times the source of problems in a relationship is bad communication so don't wait to tell the person how you feel about something whether it is good or bad. Be ready to talk and understand and solve the problem at hand. If they do something you like tell them! Share the joy and let them know that you appreciated what they did!

 

Don't kiss your boy friends best friend in revenge. It will just be bad for everyone.

 

Timing is everything, slow and steady wins the race.

 

Really get to know the person you are dating. Take a sincere interesting in getting to know them and who they really are. Don't rush into the idea of being in love, instead take things slowly and enjoy getting to know them. Really, really getting to know them. It's so common in the LDS culture to spend little time dating before rushing into marriage but make sure you know who the person you are dating and if you want to spend your life with them.

 

Don't be close minded, date lots of people and do lots of things. Other wise how will you know what you really like?

 

LIFE

 

 

Pray about everything. Every decision, every opinion. Pray in faith that you will get an answer then be ready to accept it.

 

 

Don't worry about what other people think about you because God made you the way you are now for a reason. Do what you want and say what you want (not bad) because you should be happy. Don't care what other people might think.

 

 

Be patient, people are going to frustrate you and make you really mad all the time, but what can you do? Being angry isn't going to help anyone! Just forgive them and be patient. Life will go on, there are so many other and better things you can focus your energy on.

 

 

Never procrastinate the day of your repentance.

 

 

Whatever you are going through, the answer is to always keep your eye on the temple and your relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ stronger then any other relationship in your life.

 

 

 

So I guess I just have some pretty awesome people in my life who are incredibly wise.

I'm feeling extraordinarily blessed.

So I suppose I should leave you all with my advice.

 

For life, wherever you are whatever you do be in love. Even when you are going through a really crappy time find something to be absolutely ridiculously head over heels in love with. Find something you can focus all your energy on and just be happy! Don't let the storm sink you! Adjust your sails!

 

For relationships, don't change who you are to please anyone. If they love you they should be falling in love with YOU. Not someone who adjusted their personality to appeal to that said person. Just be you! Or you will never be happy and may end up resenting the person you changed for. I'm not saying be stubborn and not willing to progress, because I am not saying that at all. In a relationship both people should be expected to give a little and make sacrifices to accommodate but don't change who you are as a person to fit somebody else's ideal.

 

These are things I really wish I had learned sooner, I speak from experience. But all I can do now is just move forward, focus myself in the Lord and give gratitude for all that I have been blessed to learn.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 P.S. Feel free, in fact I am encouraging you to leave a bit of advice for me below un that little comment box!

 

 



I think I like who I am becoming

I learn a little more about myself everyday. It happens slowly in bit and chunks, little things that come to my realization. Things are confirmed, and some things blow my mind.

Everyone has a concept of "who they are".

At least I thought I did, and maybe I did, but maybe I'm changing.

Maybe I'm growing. And that's not a bad thing.

 

 

If somebody had asked me 6 months ago to describe myself I probably would have said stubborn, head strong, independent. Some one who knows what they want and wont settle for less. Good at arguing, or making her point at least. Loud, outgoing, sometimes too bold.

 

I read this now and don't see me. They aren't bad qualities at all, some I wish I still acquired. It's just not me anymore.

 

 

Now I would describe myself as a bit quixotic. I keep to myself quite a lot, not because I am shy, but because I just don't speak unless there is something of worth to say.

I'm more hopeful and willing to work things out. I think a good word would be soft hearted. I am trying to be more understanding of people and their mistakes including my own. I've been trying to be less critical. People make mistakes and I've realized its not my job to judge them. I realized I need to love everyone, love them for their flaws, their talents, everything. Because God made them and everyone is perfect in His eyes. He gave everyone just what they need. When that clicked for me my whole mentality changed. A whole new part of my heart was opened up to love.

 

 

I notice the changes in small, quiet moments or self reflection.

Looking in the mirror with no one else around to observe.

Late in the night when my door is closed and I am kneeling in prayer.

Babysitting, holding a baby in my arms.

Walking home from the bus stop sometimes from school.

In the shower.

Walking through a friend's house admiring family pictures on the walls.

 

 

The youth theme of the year for my church is "Stand Ye In Holy Places."

It didn't click until this moment reflecting on all the places I was able to analyze myself and the changes. Each one of those places has become a spiritual action or place to me. I feel peace in those quiet moments and they are personal just for me.

And I think I am very lucky.

I'm thankful for the changes because I think I am becoming who Christ wants me to be.

 

 

 

 

 

I think I am becoming, who Christ wants me to be.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

The Last Time

When you're in the middle of a trial and searching for advice I really do think the advice you need is hiding within yourself. Right now Im heartbroken. I feel invisible to one of the most important people in my life and it sucks. It sucks to feel neglected. It sucks to feel forgotten and when you talk they rather be with anyone else. It sucks to know that you used to be their top priority but somewhere along the line you messed up and lost your status. It hurts and makes me feel totally worthless that I care so much about a person that shrugs me off.

My friend texted me about a problem shes having with another friend. It was something silly, one forgot to do something the other had asked them to do so I offered this advice... "You can't go back and change the past so why dwell on it? Lets just figure out a solution." And in the middle of my fortune cookie moment it came over me.

Its true. You can't change the past. Sometimes I think if I play my best playlist of good ol' heartbreak songs and take long bubble baths he will send me a text or ask to hang out but things don't workout that way. Sometimes and for some people they do, but you can't rely on that thread of hope because its very unlikely. If something is meant to be, it will be God's will to put you two together. So instead of sitting around and making myself miserable I will forgive him and accept the friendship between us. "Let's figure out a solution" crying wont help anything.

There's a quote that says it perfectly.

"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present."

-Lao Tzu

Its ok to be upset and miss good times but don't let it consume you. There are better things to come, I promise.

All my love, Lauren.

Head First, Fearless.

There's no better way to jump into a blog then with a good story, but I'm hesitant about posting this because it's so personal to me. I couldn't shake the feeling I had last night telling me how important it was to share this so here is goes.

During the summer of 2012 my parents were in the middle of a divorce. They're working things out right now, but at that moment in my life it was defined by my parent's fighting. I had a concussion at the time (that's a whole other story!) and I was kicked out of my house living with my Mom.

Long story short, I was sitting on the side of the road alone, hungry, confused. I had no where to go and nobody to run to. I hadn't eaten anything in a full day. The only means of contact I had with anyone was on an outdated flip phone I had no idea how to work and was hanging on a 20% battery.

Life was looking pretty hopeless. I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that this was really my life, this was really happening to me. Im a good kid. I have good grades, I am active in my church, I have great friends and I was sitting on the side of a street bawling my eyes out with no where to go.

I remember praying. I didn't even know what to say I just said "God, please take this pain from me. Please clear my mind and help me understand. Help me help myself because I don't know what to do. Give me a familiar face, please" I pleaded. I prayed out loud and I remember feeling the Holy Ghost wrap around me. It was one of the most powerful spiritual experiences I have ever had, I was so comforted. I prayed that I could feel loved and just be helped. Whatever God's plan for me was, for it to come forth and His will be done. The second I opened my eyes I couldn't fully see through the layer of tears but I remember the familiar car pulling up beside me on the side of the road.

My friend Joseph rolled down the window and asked me why I was sitting on the side of the road. When he saw me crying he didn't ask anymore and just helped me into his car and took me back to his house. I can't explain the miracle of his timing. God sent him to me to comfort me and answer my prayers. When I got back to Joseph's house he gave me medicine for my headaches. He asked me if I needed anything to eat and then served me up a bowl of pineapple. He didn't know this was my first meal in a day. He hugged me lots and didn't ask questions. He took my phone and plugged it into a charger that used to work for his old phone. We went to his basement and he put my favorite movie on and just sat and watched it with me. I felt like it was the first time I was able to relax in a week. I felt safe. I knew that everything has going to be ok. He let me sleep, and when I woke up still didn't ask questions he just constantly provided for me.

I write this and feel so humbled. Im embarrassed. Im grateful. I know God answered my prayers with Joseph and I know Joseph was worthy enough for God to work through him. He showed the ultimate service to me. I know that through the Atonement Christ suffered for me and took my pain away. He filled me with peace and contentment.

Joseph's dad gave me a blessing. It was the most comforting Father's blessing I have ever received. He's not my Father, but the peace He gave me was unexplainable. There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of his blessing. It propels me and keeps me moving forward when things get hard. When the blessing was over he bent down behind me and wrapped his strong Fatherly arms around me. I didn't want him to let go because I hadn't received a hug from my own dad in at least a year. It was relieving to be in his arms I every time he hugs me I can remember the safety and security I felt.

Just like his blessing to me promised, things settles down and I was welcome back into my home. Things got worse before they got better, but they got better. My testimony grew along with my relationship with God, my Eternal Father, and Christ, His son and my Lord and King. I am so grateful for that day. As awful and wonderful as it was I reflect on it in bittersweet memory and it remains in one of the closest and most sacred places of my heart.

I am a child of God and he hears my prayers and loves me. He only gives me trials he knows I can over come and become stronger in. I am so blessed that He trusted me with such a difficult trial. I am eternally grateful to Joseph and his whole family who continue to love me and treat me as family today. I thank his Mom for the comforting words of advice she gave me, Im thankful to his Dad for giving me a blessing, I thankful to his parents for teaching their son how to serve and having such an amazing home where the Holy Ghost constantly dwells. And I am eternally grateful to Joseph for the lessons of service he has taught me. He's one of the people who can never give enough. Im thankful for all he has done for me and the service he still gives.

I know God lives and loves me.

I say these things in the name of Christ my Savior, Amen.

All my love, Lauren.

Finally

          For the past 3 years I've wanted a blog. Trust me I've tried to make them, customize them, write them, and I just never got a hang of it. (I'm cursed with technological retardation), but something lit a fire under my butt a couple days ago and so I have spent the past approximate 72 hours configuring this blog and just figuring it out. Hence the blog title "Finally...."

         I'm really excited to get this blog started. Basically it's just going to be my thoughts, rants, pictures, aka my online journal. I want to be able to document the things I'm going through because lately my life has been one crazy whirlwind. It feels good to know that I will have it all typed up and organized to be found in one central place.

        I hope that with this blog people can relate to the things I'm going through. I hope people can laugh at my mistakes, learn better for themselves, or maybe pick up a few tips :-) So here we go. Head first, fearless.

All my love, Lauren.