Playing Catch Up

I know, I know, this post is sooooo over due.

But, life is busy, and that's a good thing.

 

Anyways, I am a Junior now!

As lame as it sounds, I really do feel a ton older.

Although I am as positive as positive can be I want to go to BYUI filling out all the college recruit letters is really fun haha!

Makes me feel official ;)

The first 2 weeks of school were crazzzzzyyy.

It never fails, I always get "those" teachers.

The unorganized ones who are mean and scary that everyone in the school avoids at all possible costs.

Yup. Without fail, I always get um.

Buuuuuut, I got a couple *cough* 5 *cough* schedule changes and not things are looking pretty good.

I'm happy with it.

And the really great thing is now that all my friends are driving we go every Friday to get food after school

Haha. We call it Food Friday. I'm so clever.

So there's that. This year really is going to be a bundle of fun:)

 

 

 

And........ Joseph hit his 1 month mark!

Yayyyyy.

Here's a pre mish picture to commemorate.

But mostly because I am sad and miss my bestfriend and look at old photos way too much.

Enjoy!

 

This one is sooooo awkward haha I love it

 

 

 

 

Today in church they had the Laurels teach and the topic was virtue.

You know when you feel like you know what you want to say but then you get all emotional and flustered and it comes out all wrong?

Yea, hi. You are my people.

Trust me, I even had it all written down but between my messy hand writing and teary blurred vision I lost it all.

But, I've been periodically sobbing all day and think I have finally got my thoughts together,

hopefully I will get this out a little better.

And if not, well, I'll just delete it ;)
Ok. Virtue.

By definition it means behavior showing high moral standards.

But broken down and with lots of thought it means sooooo much more.

I feel like it's a constant topic in Young Women's class of you have to be prepared for your future husband which yayaya is great but honestly I am soooo sick of hearing.

Literally every time it is brought up I cringe a little, especially with the topic of virtue.

Maybe that's why I got flustered, because this lesson I prepared on virtue got tuned into a "Ladies, you have to be virtuous so you can find a virtuous guy" Then I look around and see all the mortified Beehive's faces.

To me, virtue is the ultimate quality of Christ.

Yes, you need to marry someone good. It is one of the (if not the) most important decisions in this Earthly life.

But so many people never get married, or like my Mom, you marry a good guy and he goes astray.

I could probably ask any woman, "Do you love your husband?" ... yes

"Is he the most perfect love for you?" .... yes

"When you married him did all the world become perfect, did every temptation go away, was there no more trial or suffering ever because you married the man of your dreams?" ...

HEEYYCK TO THE NO.

You could marry the prophet and still have struggles!

Look at Lehi and Sariah, he was the prophet! And did she still murmur? Yes.

Struggles and trials do not just go away because you are married to a great man.

This is where virtue comes in.

The MOST important relationship in your life should be the one you have with Heavenly Father and Christ.

And know this is all my opinion.

But I have shared with you guys multiple times how terrified I was that when Joseph left I felt like standing on my own would be hard.

-And it has been, but it has been the GREATEST blessing I do not think I am capable of explaining.

My testimony of The Atonement, Prophets, Book of Mormon, My Savior, God, has been elevated so much.

Through study of The Book of Mormon I have determined political views, and morals which will help me stand when the going gets rough.

It's The Book of Mormon that will help you become like Christ and obtain virtue, not a husband.

This topic was obviously for me because I learned so much.

 

 

 

 

I feel bad ending this post on such a heavy note so it's been really rainy and wet here and I enjoy that.

I stopped running for about a month, then started back up to train with a friend for a race, and phew it's hard getting back into it haha, but I love running!

I went out early Saturday morning and ran up a mountain to see the sunrise, then I laid in the grass for a while pondering.

I know it totally sounds like I wasn't running much, but I ran a lot haha.

I just took advantage of the super peaceful moment and took a break.

Here are some photos I took while running!

 

 

Yes, Las Vegas really is just 1 big ol' dust hole.

But I kinda secretly love it.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.



Enduring Love

I'm sorry I seem to have so much to say lately.

A couple weeks ago the missionaries in my ward showed me a Mormon Message.

They warned me that I might cry (Not a shock because I cry at everything), but boy is this powerful.

I was writing my bestfriend tonight who is on his mission and I remembered this video.

I had to share it with you guys.

 

 

Isn't that beautiful.

I love the scripture they opened the video with..."Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." -Ephesians 5:25

That's what got the water works going and gets me every time.

 

While I hope that as I grow old I can remain healthy, I know that things happen that aren't planned.

And you can't control the situation or the circumstances, but you can control how you handle them.

And lets talk about how sweet that husband was.

I feel like no matter how much I say no compliment could do him justice.

I guess writing my bestfriend reminded me of this video because I can picture his parents.

Both of them are very much healthy, but the kind of love that was displayed in this video is that of the love they have.

The love I hope to someday have.

And I know I can have if my life and marriage is centered around Christ and the gospel.

 

Anyways, I'm glad I could share. I love that video so much.

 

All my love, Lauren.



A New Light

I'm well aware I sound like a broken record, but everyday I learn something new.

New about myself or about life.

I'm beginning to understand who I am. A tiny part of who I am, because I think life isn't "discovering" who you are it's inch by inch making decisions and choosing who you are going to be, but anyways I'm rambling and just going to get to the point.

 

1. God will never leave you comfortless. NEVER. He is bound by covenant that if you are faithful and ask for His help He literally cannot and will never deny you.

 

 

2. Forgiveness doesn't have to be a 2 way thing. Stop holding onto grudges because you are only hurting yourself. Honestly the person you are mad at could blatantly not give two craps how you feel about them, but you know who cares? You. Do what's right and what you can to fix things and then let it go. It's not hurting anyone but yourself. And if you don't forgive others you can't be forgiven.

 

 

3. I always consider myself to be afraid of commitment, but I actually think the opposite is true. Recently having something I love dearly being ripped away from me, I want love more than anything else. I just want something and anything to cling onto. Maybe my being afraid of commitment was just mistaken from fear of committing to the wrong person, because it couldn't be anymore more clear than it is now how badly I just want to feel secure in the right things.

 

And that's a wrap.

All my love, and good night. Lauren

I think I like who I am becoming

I learn a little more about myself everyday. It happens slowly in bit and chunks, little things that come to my realization. Things are confirmed, and some things blow my mind.

Everyone has a concept of "who they are".

At least I thought I did, and maybe I did, but maybe I'm changing.

Maybe I'm growing. And that's not a bad thing.

 

 

If somebody had asked me 6 months ago to describe myself I probably would have said stubborn, head strong, independent. Some one who knows what they want and wont settle for less. Good at arguing, or making her point at least. Loud, outgoing, sometimes too bold.

 

I read this now and don't see me. They aren't bad qualities at all, some I wish I still acquired. It's just not me anymore.

 

 

Now I would describe myself as a bit quixotic. I keep to myself quite a lot, not because I am shy, but because I just don't speak unless there is something of worth to say.

I'm more hopeful and willing to work things out. I think a good word would be soft hearted. I am trying to be more understanding of people and their mistakes including my own. I've been trying to be less critical. People make mistakes and I've realized its not my job to judge them. I realized I need to love everyone, love them for their flaws, their talents, everything. Because God made them and everyone is perfect in His eyes. He gave everyone just what they need. When that clicked for me my whole mentality changed. A whole new part of my heart was opened up to love.

 

 

I notice the changes in small, quiet moments or self reflection.

Looking in the mirror with no one else around to observe.

Late in the night when my door is closed and I am kneeling in prayer.

Babysitting, holding a baby in my arms.

Walking home from the bus stop sometimes from school.

In the shower.

Walking through a friend's house admiring family pictures on the walls.

 

 

The youth theme of the year for my church is "Stand Ye In Holy Places."

It didn't click until this moment reflecting on all the places I was able to analyze myself and the changes. Each one of those places has become a spiritual action or place to me. I feel peace in those quiet moments and they are personal just for me.

And I think I am very lucky.

I'm thankful for the changes because I think I am becoming who Christ wants me to be.

 

 

 

 

 

I think I am becoming, who Christ wants me to be.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Stay Beautiful

Women are their own worst beauty critic. It's true, why do we pick at each little thing about our self that we don't like? Take a minute to watch this video, please. Absolutely incredible.

 

 

 

Good stuff, right? If you know me it's probably not too hard to imagine me crying right now. If that were me I probably would have talked about my less then flawless skin and Pinocchio nose. I probably would have thought about all the mornings I've looked in the mirror and felt sorry for what I saw. Women are their own worst beauty critic. But what if instead not looking in the mirror and seeing something we don't like we loved what we saw. What is we pushed all of the insecurities and negative thoughts out of our heads and saw our self as the world does? What if we saw our self for the beautiful daughters of God we are?

 

STOP degrading yourself, STOP judging yourself, STOP nit picking, STOP looking for flaws, STOP over working yourself, hurting yourself, and being something that you're not. You are perfect in the design God made you in. You are beautiful and you deserve to feel like you are.

 

Whether it's your hair, body, clothes, talents, whatever it is just STOP. Because you are only doing harm. Why spend another day at war with yourself. Be a little nicer, because the only person you should be trying to be better then- is the person you were yesterday. You are unique and were built to stand out that way, so be proud of who you are.

 

I promise to work harder and try more to accept myself. It's hard giving advice on a topic I need help on but we will do it together.

We are beautiful.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.