Here I am. Brought once again to my laptop at ridiculous hours in the night.
Seminary in the morning, I have been up since four am and working all day, but hey I can't control the random urges of inspiration and when I receive them. All I know is that when I witness such a miracle as I did today, it needs to be documented. And quick, so I don't forget a single precious detail. I hope I can remember it all.
Babysitting is an... adventure sigh. Most of the time it means dirty diapers, crying, make shift meals and bed time stories, but every once and a while something amazing happens. Like tonight, I babysat for a women in my ward at church with a touching story. Recently divorced she is working more then ever and readjusting to single parent life. She is amazing. My sister took on the job of babysitting her 3 kids while she took a 3 day trip to a neighboring state to take care of some business. My sister who is juggling a few jobs called on me to watch her kids today so she could work and this job was not like the rest.
We played, made dinner, attempted the dishes and snuggled on the couch to watch Bubble Guppies.
Her kids were so loving and affectionate towards me. They latched onto arms, legs, my torso, always gave me kisses and hugs. I ate it up of course. Who would deny 3 of the cutest most lovable kids on Earth? When it started to get later I brought 2 of the 3 kids upstairs for a bath because one of them was at sports practice. These kids were unbelievable- in the good way. They humor me. Seriously they are hilarious. I fixed their bath tub with bubbles and turned on the jets and we had a hay day. They bathed for a good 45 minutes and just had a blast! I threw them in the shower to rinse off then wrapped them like a burrito in their towels and carried them like babies to their bed. I dressed them and read them a story in the usual night time ritual before bed and when I was finished the older girl asked me if I could lay in their Mom's bed with them until they fell asleep.
She and her younger brother asked me to tickle their backs until they fell asleep. It was precious. It was so odd in that moment too. Wasn't I just 4 laying in my bed and getting my back rubbed by my Mom? It hit me that in a minimum of 2 years I could have my own family. Super weird. Honestly it's in the back of your mind "Oh one day" and " I can't wait to make my Pinterest house!" but when it hits you like that I promise the experience is unreal. It was an unreal experience to have these two little and perfect kids snuggled up to me. I felt so incredibly blessed to have angels in my presence. The little girl told me stories about her school and friends and her Mom, that she missed her and wanted so badly for her to be home. She told me how much she hated her Mom's job and that it took her Mom away from her so much. And it broke my heart to hear this all coming from a six year old. What was I worrying about as a six year old? Certainly not the things she was, and my heart aches.
I realized why these kids were so sweet and perfect and it was because of who the little people they are becoming. I honestly held in my tears and just held them closer because I was so lucky to be given this moment with them.
I went down stairs and waited for the little boy to return home so I could bathe him and put him to bed. I took him upstairs and washed him then took him into his room so I could have a moment just to spend with him talking about his sports and his day and how he was feeling. I realized how important it was to give each of the children their own moment where they could be the only thing that mattered. And that mattered to him. I tickled his back for a few minutes before bringing him to his Mom's bed where the other kids slept. He asked me to lay down with them so I stayed and let all the peace and sweet countenance of their spirits overcome me again.
I haven't had a quite moment of peace and reflection for a while and that is just what I needed.
Little children asleep have never looked so beautiful. It was a sight to see, I wish I could print out this mental photograph and keep it forever. It was so sweet and innocent the experience is almost indescribable. My heart softened and I understood the love their Mother must feel every night tucking them in. I got a glimpse of the love every Mother feels for her child and I'm sure the feeling I had doesn't even compare. I understood how hard it must be for their Mom to be away from her kids so she can provide for them. My heart break a little more. And I have so much more respect for any single parent out there, and families as a whole.
I can definitely wait until I have my own kids, but I can't wait for the day I finally do. I will be so lucky.
All my love, Lauren.
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