Everyday Miracles

This past week has been filled with miracle after miracle.

Direct prayers being answered.

Glimpses of the bigger picture.

Love in my heart.

The power of The Atonement working in every breathing moment of my life.

How on Earth did I get so blessed?

I'm not sure, but to be able to give thanks for all that I have been given I feel that I really need to write about it and share some of my testimony/experiences with others :)

 

 

Ahhhhh. Deep breathe. Here it goes.

Sunday sacrament meeting rolled around and not only did I want to repent, I wanted a deep change. I wanted The Lord to be in control of my words and my thoughts. I wanted to feel the spirit so strong so that He could work through me and make me a better person in the process. That was just the beginning.

As my week progressed I found myself in deep spiritual reflection; strengthening parts of my testimony I never knew existed. The Lord helped me on my midterms, for I am certain the without His help it would have been impossible for me to recall all of that information and do so well.

During my nightly scripture study and seminary preparation the scriptures came alive to me. The words spoken and lessons taught were for ME. Another thing I had prayed for answered.

I prayed extra hard for Joseph this week. But something new that I added to my prayers was that the people he needed to teach could be prepared to receive the gospel, they could be humbled, they could search and then receive. Joseph gained a new investigator this week, and 3 more potential investigators. Seeing the miracles of his mission has changed my life. He also has a baptism next months and a full appointment book. :) I'm pretty proud of him. I told y'all I wasn't lying when I said he was going to be the best missionary evaaaaa ;)

Lastly, I have a friend who is going through a really rough trial. I prayed for her, but while I was praying I has the impression to not pray for a certain outcome, but instead for great peace and a glimpse at her greater future. She went to the temple then told me about her experiences. She used almost the exact same words. It was beautiful. -A miracle that can only be explained by the divine nature of Christ and God's plan.

These experiences don't even scape the surface of this week. Every prayer was answered. Even the small things that only matter to me. His hand was in every aspect of my life, and maybe the only difference between this week and any other week was my enthusiasm to look for it. The Lord is always there preforming miracles bigger than us everyday.

We can open our minds to see them when we give thanks.

 

This is why I started a golden list :)

Every single day write 10 things you are grateful for.

Try to make the list different everyday.

Write it in the sky or in s notebook, just write it somewhere because when you write it down you think about it more and it causes you a substantial about of time to ponder your life and blessings :)

This list has worked flawlessly for me-maybe even changed my life :)

 

I know that The Lord loves us. I know He is the All-Saving Redeemer and The Atonement is real.

He lives.

When we ask, we receive.

-And maybe more of a blessing than the actual blessing is giving thanks.

It has brought SO much joy into my life.

I am what He gives, and it is so much more than I deserve.

 

All my love, Lauren.

5 Truths

 

5 truths about life that I have come to know.

 

1. Just because 2 things are different doesn't mean 1 is good and 1 is bad. It just means that they're different.

 

2. If your happiness depends on people or things, you're going to spend a lot of time unhappy.

 

3.Smiling at strangers is good.

 

4.It's okay to let people help you.

 

5. If something is right there will be nothing you can do to keep it from happening, if it is wrong you won't be able to make it happen.

Change Is A Comin

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading my blog!

The growth just this past week has been AMAZING! I'm so grateful for the views and all of your reading :)

But with a little more popularity I think an upgrade is needed...haha... because this blog's look is pretty sad....and I'm as technologically handicap as it gets.

Seriously. I just found out what a button was yesterday! Haha!

How long have I been blogging?

 

Anyways, thank you and please be patient with my construction process!

Not sure how long this is going to take me, but I am determined to come up with something good! You guys are the greatest. :)

 

All my love, Lauren. 

Ps. I'm redecorating my room too! Maybe I'm just in the mood for change.

An Unusually Gloom Day

Today I am discouraged.

I'm packed with work and things I need to get done and I straight up don't feel like doing them.

I miss Joseph. Sigghhh.

I haven't gotten a letter in 2 weeks, but he did send me a bunch of pictures!

Which resulted in tears.

Happy tears and also frustration.

I'm feeling like laying in bed listening to Home by Blake Shelton on replay and doing nothing with myself all night.

Which would be an awful idea because I have 2 essays to write and a lesson to prepare for seminary tomorrow.

Maybe I will just eat a whole row of Oreos and get on with my life haha!

Anyone feel free to cheer me up on this unusually gloom day :)

All my love, Lauren.

Come What May and Love It

I'm sure all you people are wondering if I even use this thing anymore!

And I'm wondering if I remember how to

But hey, I'm blogging again so that's better then nothing.

So crazy past couple of weeks I don't even know where to begin to summarize so I will just share the good stuff:)

 

I put some stuff together for my friend, Elder Starsi Scherf!

It's for his Christmas package which I actually had to get together like ASAP because shipping takes 2 months. So I made up a Christmas Story Scripture chase, put it some hot chocolate and water flavoring stuff to invite the holiday spirit and make the water taste a little better down there :) I gave him a lint roller, a tie, and some hand warmers that I sewed myself! Ahh yes, I sewed myself. I'm super proud of that lol even though they are just super basic pouches filled with rice that you stick in the microwave and nuke for a minute. That was really fun for me to make :)

 

I finished my school's quarterly grading period with a 3.8!!!!WHAT!!!

I know this probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but for me, it was. especially because I took up such a challenging schedule this year. I am feeling really proud of myself!

 

I have been pretty productive with my Autumn Bucketlist!

Doing all sorts of fun things and it really does feel like Fall:)

 

Gen Conf talks SAVE MY LIFE!

I've substituted the times I would listen to music with General Conference talks and I never want to go back. Now it's definitely my preference to listen to talks over music! My whole day is noticeably better and more uplifting. If I actually don't get to slip my headphones in and listen to a talk for two during the day I feel deprived of the spirit! It's amazing!!!

So I think I will leave you guys with my favorite talk of maybe all time, here.

 

All my love, Lauren. :)

 

 

 



Playing Catch Up

I know, I know, this post is sooooo over due.

But, life is busy, and that's a good thing.

 

Anyways, I am a Junior now!

As lame as it sounds, I really do feel a ton older.

Although I am as positive as positive can be I want to go to BYUI filling out all the college recruit letters is really fun haha!

Makes me feel official ;)

The first 2 weeks of school were crazzzzzyyy.

It never fails, I always get "those" teachers.

The unorganized ones who are mean and scary that everyone in the school avoids at all possible costs.

Yup. Without fail, I always get um.

Buuuuuut, I got a couple *cough* 5 *cough* schedule changes and not things are looking pretty good.

I'm happy with it.

And the really great thing is now that all my friends are driving we go every Friday to get food after school

Haha. We call it Food Friday. I'm so clever.

So there's that. This year really is going to be a bundle of fun:)

 

 

 

And........ Joseph hit his 1 month mark!

Yayyyyy.

Here's a pre mish picture to commemorate.

But mostly because I am sad and miss my bestfriend and look at old photos way too much.

Enjoy!

 

This one is sooooo awkward haha I love it

 

 

 

 

Today in church they had the Laurels teach and the topic was virtue.

You know when you feel like you know what you want to say but then you get all emotional and flustered and it comes out all wrong?

Yea, hi. You are my people.

Trust me, I even had it all written down but between my messy hand writing and teary blurred vision I lost it all.

But, I've been periodically sobbing all day and think I have finally got my thoughts together,

hopefully I will get this out a little better.

And if not, well, I'll just delete it ;)
Ok. Virtue.

By definition it means behavior showing high moral standards.

But broken down and with lots of thought it means sooooo much more.

I feel like it's a constant topic in Young Women's class of you have to be prepared for your future husband which yayaya is great but honestly I am soooo sick of hearing.

Literally every time it is brought up I cringe a little, especially with the topic of virtue.

Maybe that's why I got flustered, because this lesson I prepared on virtue got tuned into a "Ladies, you have to be virtuous so you can find a virtuous guy" Then I look around and see all the mortified Beehive's faces.

To me, virtue is the ultimate quality of Christ.

Yes, you need to marry someone good. It is one of the (if not the) most important decisions in this Earthly life.

But so many people never get married, or like my Mom, you marry a good guy and he goes astray.

I could probably ask any woman, "Do you love your husband?" ... yes

"Is he the most perfect love for you?" .... yes

"When you married him did all the world become perfect, did every temptation go away, was there no more trial or suffering ever because you married the man of your dreams?" ...

HEEYYCK TO THE NO.

You could marry the prophet and still have struggles!

Look at Lehi and Sariah, he was the prophet! And did she still murmur? Yes.

Struggles and trials do not just go away because you are married to a great man.

This is where virtue comes in.

The MOST important relationship in your life should be the one you have with Heavenly Father and Christ.

And know this is all my opinion.

But I have shared with you guys multiple times how terrified I was that when Joseph left I felt like standing on my own would be hard.

-And it has been, but it has been the GREATEST blessing I do not think I am capable of explaining.

My testimony of The Atonement, Prophets, Book of Mormon, My Savior, God, has been elevated so much.

Through study of The Book of Mormon I have determined political views, and morals which will help me stand when the going gets rough.

It's The Book of Mormon that will help you become like Christ and obtain virtue, not a husband.

This topic was obviously for me because I learned so much.

 

 

 

 

I feel bad ending this post on such a heavy note so it's been really rainy and wet here and I enjoy that.

I stopped running for about a month, then started back up to train with a friend for a race, and phew it's hard getting back into it haha, but I love running!

I went out early Saturday morning and ran up a mountain to see the sunrise, then I laid in the grass for a while pondering.

I know it totally sounds like I wasn't running much, but I ran a lot haha.

I just took advantage of the super peaceful moment and took a break.

Here are some photos I took while running!

 

 

Yes, Las Vegas really is just 1 big ol' dust hole.

But I kinda secretly love it.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.



A Lot To Say About Nothing

It's been an eventful week, and a difficult week.

And I have a lot to say, about nothing in particular.

Just a lot to say.

 

First of all, I had no idea how big of a cheese ball I am.

My humor, taste in movies, romance.

I am oh so cheesy.

And you know what?

No regrets.

I love being cheesy, I love watching romantic comedies in my pj's and crying in all the sad parts and practically jumping up and down cheering in all the kissing parts.

Yes. Now you all know.

I'm one of those girls, but ahhh do I love it.

So sweet!

 

 

McKenzie.

My best friend.

The one I go to with all my good and bad.

LET ME NOT EXAGGERATE WHEN I SAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WOULD BE WITHOUT HER.

She teaches me so much and she is so smart.

Probably the smartest person I have ever met.

And yesterday she left for college.

Uhh, it aches to say goodbye.

But Provo, you're lucky.

I've been saying goodbye a lot lately and I don't think I can take one more.

Here are some pictures of us, and my favorite memories with her.

And then the dreaded goodbye. :(

 

 

 

 

 

Being sick is awful.

I seem to have had EVERYTHING wrong with me lately.

Infections, cough, migraines, achiness, "that time of the month"

You name it, I've had it.

And accompanied by an awful rash was an awful sigh of depression.

I think I was just so sick and stressed out I lost my mind for a couple days there haha.

But with a trip to the temple and some support from great friends and family I made it through!

I'm just done with being sick.

Getting better and on the road to recovery!

 

I got this nifty planner and I am way too excited about it.

It's purple and has lilacs on the inside.

I has a monthly calendar and DAILY!

I keep looking at it and flipping through the pages and it brings me SO MUCH JOY.

LIKE I CAN'T EVEN. I'M SO HAPPY.

But I can't use it until the 2014.

Life is hard.

 

Advice Corner: Everything happens for a reason.

I know I'm a broken record and it's so cliché but seriously guys.

Everything. Happens. For. A. Reason.

I'll share something personal.

This week 2 am I was miserable.

One of the worst pains I have ever experienced.

It was physical, emotional, physiological, spiritual pain.

Everything ached I can't even explain.

And I prayed and felt pretty angry.

I didn't feel relief when all I wanted was comfort.

But I needed to feel that pain.

Gosh I had to, because the very next day I experienced the most beautiful miracle that I would have never been able to witness if I hadn't survived the pain from the night before.

God answers all prayers, but He has His own timetable.

Trust in it.

Endure it.

And He is waiting to bless you.

My testimony burns tonight.

1 Nephi 20:10

Alma 40: 23

 

Phew writing that took a lot out of me.

I look at the title of my post and laugh because it should probably say

"A Lot To Say About Everything"

but I'm too lazy to change it :);)

So oh well

All my love, Lauren :)

 

 



He Hears My Prayers

Heavenly Father hears my prayers, and He answers me.

Gosh I have no idea how this is all going to come out!

So I will just be blunt and get on with it.

 

Elder Joseph Rosequist.

Not a day goes by I don't miss him, but today I reeeeaaalllllyyyy missed him

The past couple days I participated in an eagle project and a private school in town and it was great, but the whole weekend my heart ached and missed him.

We have so many memories there.

We did an eagle project there last year, and he used to go to that school so there's pictures of him on like every wall..... Or it just seemed like there was.

Anyways, the past couple days I've just missed him.

I've wished he was here.

I'm so proud of him serving a mission, but who wants to say goodbye to a great friend for 2 years?

So last night I prayed.

I prayed I could feel close to him and receive comfort.

I prayed that I could have peace and more than anything just a connection with him.

So I went to church like normal and it was a great day.

I came home and napped and then made dinner for the missionaries coming over.

Our Elders just transferred and we got Sister missionaries!

It was our first Sunday with them(and my first time ever meeting them)

And for some CRAZY reason, I felt prompted to ask if one of the sisters had ever met Elder Rosequist. (She just got out of the MTC)

AND SURE ENOUGH....

 

Yes! She had met Joseph!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

They sat next to eachother at orientation and had met again in the mail room!

And of course she told me allllll about how great and impressed by him she was.

I told y'all he would be the best missionary.

And we talked about him, and it was just what I needed.

It was just what God knew I needed.

I know for a fact that this was an answer to my prayers!

It was just so cool.

 

And that's not the only answer I have got to prayers lately.

It's everything.

It's in every breathe.

In every step I can see The Lord's hand in my life.

There's a short poem here that I love.

It totally describes my life lately.

I am what He gives me, and I am so grateful that He has been so generous.

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 

Music To My Ears

I seriously love music.

I know, who doesn't?

But today I just felt like publicly giving thanks for it.

I don't express my gratitude enough, especially for all the little things that I love so much.

Like lavender, dusk and dawn, the lines on the carpet after vacuuming.

But especially music today.

I mean, it's pretty much what has gotten me through this past month of my life.

And I like all music, even though I consider myself a country music junkie.

I love some good Broadway, MoTab, and Metal too.

I pretty much can find music in any genre that I like...... with the exception to rap.

But hey, I'm not close minded to it. If I hear some rap that I like-well, I guess I will like it.

Anyways, here's the playlist I have most recently set my life to.

I will put a star by the really really good stuff ;) but check it all out if your heart desires!

 

*Better- Maggie Rose

Foundations- Kate Nash

*Give It All We've Got Tonight-George Strait

*Love Is Alive-Phil Vassar

***Breathe-Taylor Swift

Dust to Dust-The Civil Wars

Hero-Skillet

*Home-Blake Shelton(or look up the Micheal Buble version)

Mr.Mom-Lonestar

Somewhere Only We Know-Keane

*Amazed-Lonestar

*****Gravity-Sara Bareilles

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Enduring Love

I'm sorry I seem to have so much to say lately.

A couple weeks ago the missionaries in my ward showed me a Mormon Message.

They warned me that I might cry (Not a shock because I cry at everything), but boy is this powerful.

I was writing my bestfriend tonight who is on his mission and I remembered this video.

I had to share it with you guys.

 

 

Isn't that beautiful.

I love the scripture they opened the video with..."Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." -Ephesians 5:25

That's what got the water works going and gets me every time.

 

While I hope that as I grow old I can remain healthy, I know that things happen that aren't planned.

And you can't control the situation or the circumstances, but you can control how you handle them.

And lets talk about how sweet that husband was.

I feel like no matter how much I say no compliment could do him justice.

I guess writing my bestfriend reminded me of this video because I can picture his parents.

Both of them are very much healthy, but the kind of love that was displayed in this video is that of the love they have.

The love I hope to someday have.

And I know I can have if my life and marriage is centered around Christ and the gospel.

 

Anyways, I'm glad I could share. I love that video so much.

 

All my love, Lauren.



A New Light

I'm well aware I sound like a broken record, but everyday I learn something new.

New about myself or about life.

I'm beginning to understand who I am. A tiny part of who I am, because I think life isn't "discovering" who you are it's inch by inch making decisions and choosing who you are going to be, but anyways I'm rambling and just going to get to the point.

 

1. God will never leave you comfortless. NEVER. He is bound by covenant that if you are faithful and ask for His help He literally cannot and will never deny you.

 

 

2. Forgiveness doesn't have to be a 2 way thing. Stop holding onto grudges because you are only hurting yourself. Honestly the person you are mad at could blatantly not give two craps how you feel about them, but you know who cares? You. Do what's right and what you can to fix things and then let it go. It's not hurting anyone but yourself. And if you don't forgive others you can't be forgiven.

 

 

3. I always consider myself to be afraid of commitment, but I actually think the opposite is true. Recently having something I love dearly being ripped away from me, I want love more than anything else. I just want something and anything to cling onto. Maybe my being afraid of commitment was just mistaken from fear of committing to the wrong person, because it couldn't be anymore more clear than it is now how badly I just want to feel secure in the right things.

 

And that's a wrap.

All my love, and good night. Lauren

Wonderstruck

So this past week I have been at girls camp!

And that was crazy and wonderful and a week of a lifetime that I never want to forget, but this blog post is not about girls camp.

This blog post is about an unexpected turn of events in my attempt to create tradition.

Ok I will explain.

 

 

Last year after girls camp I invited Joseph over for dinner the day I got back.

I wanted to tell him every little detail about everything.

He came over and I made lasagna and we talked and played games all night and it was so much fun.

So this year I thought it would be such a great idea to have him over again!

I made lasagna just like I did the year before and already planned all the stories I would tell him and all the games we would get to play and I was a little bit giddy.

Well Joseph seemed to be running on MST Mormon Standard Time.

He was extra late coming home from working on his farm and I know how much hard work that is and that its easy to run late so I just cut him some slack and put a plate together for him and through it in the fridge to warm up when he got here.

Well another change of plans, he sometimes cleans an office building and I guess he needed to do it that night.

So no games.

My super fun start of a tradition night that I planned was looking like a disaster, but I decided to go with him and clean this office with him which I had done before.

And let me tell you, I wouldn't have traded the night for anything in the whole world.

We spent a little time at his house before heading over to the office.

His home is heaven on earth, in a way I cant even begin to explain.

I think it's how his dad hugs me and gives me a couple good squeezes when he sees me, welcoming me home. And standing at the front door smelling an amazing home cooked meal.

I think it's spirit that melts away contentions, but that's not even the best part of the night.

I love the car rides that require no music because the constant laughter and conversation fills the air.

I love the quiet moments we all feel perfectly content without needing to say a word.

I love popping out from behind corners to scare Joseph and his brother when we are cleaning and singing and dancing with my broom, and being silly and messing around.

I love long hugs when I'm being dropped off and I love how the simplest things in the world can mean the most when they are done with people we love.

 

 

AND ITS WONDERFUL

 

Because it struck me in that moment.

It was a perfectly unexpected night and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Words of Wisdom

Lately I have made it a point to ask for advice. /it all started a couple weeks ago when my friends were passing around this horoscope app on their phone. Horoscopes are total bull and I usually never waste my time with them but In the odd occasion we read mine and it was hilariously accurate. It probably could have been fitting for 50% of the population and I just fell in there, but it was ironic, and hilarious and apparently I need lots of help. So here I am, inspired and thirsting for advice!

 

I have asked a large range of people from my best friend, to strangers, to the churches missionaries. I asked for one piece of advice on life and one bit of relationship advice. I have gotten some really great stuff back. Here are a few of my favorites!

 

LOVE

 

Communicate. Often times the source of problems in a relationship is bad communication so don't wait to tell the person how you feel about something whether it is good or bad. Be ready to talk and understand and solve the problem at hand. If they do something you like tell them! Share the joy and let them know that you appreciated what they did!

 

Don't kiss your boy friends best friend in revenge. It will just be bad for everyone.

 

Timing is everything, slow and steady wins the race.

 

Really get to know the person you are dating. Take a sincere interesting in getting to know them and who they really are. Don't rush into the idea of being in love, instead take things slowly and enjoy getting to know them. Really, really getting to know them. It's so common in the LDS culture to spend little time dating before rushing into marriage but make sure you know who the person you are dating and if you want to spend your life with them.

 

Don't be close minded, date lots of people and do lots of things. Other wise how will you know what you really like?

 

LIFE

 

 

Pray about everything. Every decision, every opinion. Pray in faith that you will get an answer then be ready to accept it.

 

 

Don't worry about what other people think about you because God made you the way you are now for a reason. Do what you want and say what you want (not bad) because you should be happy. Don't care what other people might think.

 

 

Be patient, people are going to frustrate you and make you really mad all the time, but what can you do? Being angry isn't going to help anyone! Just forgive them and be patient. Life will go on, there are so many other and better things you can focus your energy on.

 

 

Never procrastinate the day of your repentance.

 

 

Whatever you are going through, the answer is to always keep your eye on the temple and your relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ stronger then any other relationship in your life.

 

 

 

So I guess I just have some pretty awesome people in my life who are incredibly wise.

I'm feeling extraordinarily blessed.

So I suppose I should leave you all with my advice.

 

For life, wherever you are whatever you do be in love. Even when you are going through a really crappy time find something to be absolutely ridiculously head over heels in love with. Find something you can focus all your energy on and just be happy! Don't let the storm sink you! Adjust your sails!

 

For relationships, don't change who you are to please anyone. If they love you they should be falling in love with YOU. Not someone who adjusted their personality to appeal to that said person. Just be you! Or you will never be happy and may end up resenting the person you changed for. I'm not saying be stubborn and not willing to progress, because I am not saying that at all. In a relationship both people should be expected to give a little and make sacrifices to accommodate but don't change who you are as a person to fit somebody else's ideal.

 

These are things I really wish I had learned sooner, I speak from experience. But all I can do now is just move forward, focus myself in the Lord and give gratitude for all that I have been blessed to learn.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 P.S. Feel free, in fact I am encouraging you to leave a bit of advice for me below un that little comment box!

 

 



Tender Mercies

Here I am. Brought once again to my laptop at ridiculous hours in the night.

Seminary in the morning, I have been up since four am and working all day, but hey I can't control the random urges of inspiration and when I receive them. All I know is that when I witness such a miracle as I did today, it needs to be documented. And quick, so I don't forget a single precious detail. I hope I can remember it all.

 

 

Babysitting is an... adventure sigh. Most of the time it means dirty diapers, crying, make shift meals and bed time stories, but every once and a while something amazing happens. Like tonight, I babysat for a women in my ward at church with a touching story. Recently divorced she is working more then ever and readjusting to single parent life. She is amazing. My sister took on the job of babysitting her 3 kids while she took a 3 day trip to a neighboring state to take care of some business. My sister who is juggling a few jobs called on me to watch her kids today so she could work and this job was not like the rest.

 

We played, made dinner, attempted the dishes and snuggled on the couch to watch Bubble Guppies.

Her kids were so loving and affectionate towards me. They latched onto arms, legs, my torso, always gave me kisses and hugs. I ate it up of course. Who would deny 3 of the cutest most lovable kids on Earth? When it started to get later I brought 2 of the 3 kids upstairs for a bath because one of them was at sports practice. These kids were unbelievable- in the good way. They humor me. Seriously they are hilarious. I fixed their bath tub with bubbles and turned on the jets and we had a hay day. They bathed for a good 45 minutes and just had a blast! I threw them in the shower to rinse off then wrapped them like a burrito in their towels and carried them like babies to their bed. I dressed them and read them a story in the usual night time ritual before bed and when I was finished the older girl asked me if I could lay in their Mom's bed with them until they fell asleep.

 

She and her younger brother asked me to tickle their backs until they fell asleep. It was precious. It was so odd in that moment too. Wasn't I just 4 laying in my bed and getting my back rubbed by my Mom? It hit me that in a minimum of 2 years I could have my own family. Super weird. Honestly it's in the back of your mind "Oh one day" and " I can't wait to make my Pinterest house!" but when it hits you like that I promise the experience is unreal. It was an unreal experience to have these two little and perfect kids snuggled up to me. I felt so incredibly blessed to have angels in my presence. The little girl told me stories about her school and friends and her Mom, that she missed her and wanted so badly for her to be home. She told me how much she hated her Mom's job and that it took her Mom away from her so much. And it broke my heart to hear this all coming from a six year old. What was I worrying about as a six year old? Certainly not the things she was, and my heart aches.

 

I realized why these kids were so sweet and perfect and it was because of who the little people they are becoming. I honestly held in my tears and just held them closer because I was so lucky to be given this moment with them.

 

I went down stairs and waited for the little boy to return home so I could bathe him and put him to bed. I took him upstairs and washed him then took him into his room so I could have a moment just to spend with him talking about his sports and his day and how he was feeling. I realized how important it was to give each of the children their own moment where they could be the only thing that mattered. And that mattered to him. I tickled his back for a few minutes before bringing him to his Mom's bed where the other kids slept. He asked me to lay down with them so I stayed and let all the peace and sweet countenance of their spirits overcome me again.

 

I haven't had a quite moment of peace and reflection for a while and that is just what I needed.

Little children asleep have never looked so beautiful. It was a sight to see, I wish I could print out this mental photograph and keep it forever. It was so sweet and innocent the experience is almost indescribable. My heart softened and I understood the love their Mother must feel every night tucking them in. I got a glimpse of the love every Mother feels for her child and I'm sure the feeling I had doesn't even compare. I understood how hard it must be for their Mom to be away from her kids so she can provide for them. My heart break a little more. And I have so much more respect for any single parent out there, and families as a whole.

 

I can definitely wait until I have my own kids, but I can't wait for the day I finally do. I will be so lucky.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

I think I like who I am becoming

I learn a little more about myself everyday. It happens slowly in bit and chunks, little things that come to my realization. Things are confirmed, and some things blow my mind.

Everyone has a concept of "who they are".

At least I thought I did, and maybe I did, but maybe I'm changing.

Maybe I'm growing. And that's not a bad thing.

 

 

If somebody had asked me 6 months ago to describe myself I probably would have said stubborn, head strong, independent. Some one who knows what they want and wont settle for less. Good at arguing, or making her point at least. Loud, outgoing, sometimes too bold.

 

I read this now and don't see me. They aren't bad qualities at all, some I wish I still acquired. It's just not me anymore.

 

 

Now I would describe myself as a bit quixotic. I keep to myself quite a lot, not because I am shy, but because I just don't speak unless there is something of worth to say.

I'm more hopeful and willing to work things out. I think a good word would be soft hearted. I am trying to be more understanding of people and their mistakes including my own. I've been trying to be less critical. People make mistakes and I've realized its not my job to judge them. I realized I need to love everyone, love them for their flaws, their talents, everything. Because God made them and everyone is perfect in His eyes. He gave everyone just what they need. When that clicked for me my whole mentality changed. A whole new part of my heart was opened up to love.

 

 

I notice the changes in small, quiet moments or self reflection.

Looking in the mirror with no one else around to observe.

Late in the night when my door is closed and I am kneeling in prayer.

Babysitting, holding a baby in my arms.

Walking home from the bus stop sometimes from school.

In the shower.

Walking through a friend's house admiring family pictures on the walls.

 

 

The youth theme of the year for my church is "Stand Ye In Holy Places."

It didn't click until this moment reflecting on all the places I was able to analyze myself and the changes. Each one of those places has become a spiritual action or place to me. I feel peace in those quiet moments and they are personal just for me.

And I think I am very lucky.

I'm thankful for the changes because I think I am becoming who Christ wants me to be.

 

 

 

 

 

I think I am becoming, who Christ wants me to be.

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

Who I am

I'm not a perfectionist.

I'm not a girly girl.

I am embarrassed by selfies.

My favorite colors are white and red.

I fantasize about being picked up and spun around.

I adore country music.

I'm the middle child of 3 children.

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
The only TV I watch is food network.
I love history.
The stars and the clouds are two of my favorite things.
Sometimes in OCD about organization and cleaning and other times it's organized chaos.
I'm a dedicated shower singer.
I believe flowers and medicine for the soul.
I'm clumsy.
I love to read.
I love dreaming.
I love to bake cookies.
It's almost impossible for me to pass by a candle without sniffing it, I love candles.
I love the Disney movie Aristocats.
I stay up late at night thinking and keep a notebook next to my bed to write down ideas.
I'm awful at math.
I love white sheets on my bed.
I hope for my knight in shining armor.
I want to name my first son Lehi.
I day dream about big open fields and wandering alone.
I hate feet.
I change my mind a lot.
I feel 10x better about myself when my toe nails are painted.
I love to paint.
I love to run.
I love Taylor Swift.
I'm a cry baby.
I love shoes. Lots of shoes of all kinds.
I may seem out going but I am actually very introverted.
I love pictures.
I love horses.
I love hiking.
I love adventure seeking.
I love letters.
The most perfect place in the world is a cabin in the mountains surrounded by snow in a place far from here with someone I love.
I love hugging.
I love for my back to be scratched.
I love boots.
I love fishing.
I love sour candy.
I hate doing dishes.
I'm not a jewelry lover.
I could spend all day in the shower.
I love going to the dentist and getting my teeth cleaned.
I love playing in the snow and snow boarding even though I'm no good.
And I'm a work in progress.



I hope everyone has learned something new about me.
I had to be quite creative when making this list :)

All my love, Lauren.



Back To December

I'm trying to think of what I want to say and how to say it. I know what I want to say but it could all come out 100 different ways and its so stressful trying to figure out how to put it all together, but I promised I would share monumental parts of my story (life) if I thought it could in some way help others. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. So here goes nothing.

 

My friend Joseph, the one I mentioned in my blog post Head First, Fearless got his mission call. In order to understand what this means to me I will have to give you all a little background information. I will start with how we met.

 

December 23, 2011 I was invited to my church with the other youth to play a game called fugitive, everyone dresses in black and it basically a giant game of cops and robbers. I don't usually go to these activities they invited me to because I was really active in the church and I didn't feel like I fit in or knew anybody, but my events for the night ended on a sudden cancelation of plans and I didn't want to spend the night just sitting around so I decided to go. I got dropped off at the church and it was freezing cold so I looked around and hopped into a random car I saw on e of the girls in my ward sitting in. We were talking for a minute before I asked who's car it was. She pointed out a guy who I later came to know as Joseph. I thought he was extremely cute standing in front of the car laughing within a group of guys. It felt like a movie moment, time standing still, me looking all starry eyed as I can imagine. I really wanted to know him. I imagine him laughing right now when I make him read this later. So the game started and I didn't see this Joseph until that round had finished and we all ended up in the neighborhood park. This is when we came up to me and introduced himself. I hopped in the shot gun of his car and we became fast friends. From that moment a year and a half ago to now he has become one of my best friends today. Over the time span of one and a half year I have become active in the church again and I give so much credit of that to him. He has always been such an example to me and motivation to be better. He's constantly teaching me lessons about life, family, the church. He is constantly teaching me about service and missionary work and how to love and the best part is that he teaches all by example. He shows me how to be better.

Here's the background story I was nervous about sharing. A week before I met Joseph I had a long prayer with my Father in Heaven, and my first one in a long time. I wanted to come back to the church so badly, I wanted to change so much and feel accepted again. I wanted to repent and rediscover the truth I knew existed but I needed help. I knew I couldn't do it on my own because I had been trying for several months and changing had been so ineffective so I prayed for someone to come into my life and help me and show me the way. That person was Joseph, and I knew it the second I saw him that God had sent into my life the closest I have ever come to an angel. In that first moment that I saw him the moment is the same every time I see him. It's confirmed every time we are together that he was brought into my life to help guide me back to the iron rod. After we became friends everything became so easy. I began to journal every single night, then it was easy to add in prayer every night, and that eventually led me to studying the BOM and Scriptures every night which has become the foundation of my testimony. I know now with a certainty and fiery burning in my soul that this church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was the Prophet that restored the Gospel on the earth, that He truly saw The Son and The Father in the Sacred Grove. I know that Christ is my Savior and my King and he suffered for all my sins, and everyone's making the Atonement real. I know the God is the Father and He loves me and is aware of me. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the true and living Prophet today and I know for a fact that if I am righteous, obedient, and faithful I can return to live in Heaven with my Savior again.

I am so blessed that Joseph came into my life when he did, and I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father sending him. The work and service he did for me will affect so many. I am so grateful.

 

Joseph leaving on his mission is such a huge deal for me because it scares me. I'm scared that I wont be able to stand with such strength when he's gone, and even though my testimony is strong and I know that what I know is true I wont have his constant reminder beside me.

 

All these thoughts came into my mind yesterday when he finally opened his call. I had anticipated it for a couple of weeks, but when the moment came to really find out where he was going and when, I kind of lost it. All my fears came alive. Would I see him after his mission or would we lose contact? Will I be able to stay strong? What am I going to do when he's gone and no longer just a call or text message away? He hugged me and I cried. Maybe if I held on extra tight I could freeze time again and get my thoughts straight and pull myself together. I had to put on a smile the rest of the right because I was helping my Mom out with an activity that was going on at out house but the second everyone left I was upstairs sitting on the floor of my shower sobbing trying to figure it all out. I couldn't figure it out myself so I knelt down in the shower and prayed. I let the water run over my back for a good 10 minutes while I poured out my soul and when I was finally finished I stood up, wiped my tears and let the over whelming peace flood over me. While I have found myself this past year and a half leaning on Joseph when grounds were shaky I realized it is not time to lean on Christ. Joseph would leave and go serve his mission and I will be absolutely fine. 

 

I instantly had a greater understanding that he would be a part of such a bigger piece of work then staying behind and making sure I was on track. He will be spending the next 2 years of his life being The Lord's hands and The Lord's mouthpiece. He would be leaving his family for 2 years, so other families could be together for eternity, and I cant think of anything more important then that. So for the past day I have been nothing but joyful. I know that sometime in the next 2 years I will have rough days and wish that he could come over and talk me through it, I know that I will miss him, and I know that I will cry, but I also know that I can call on my Savior in Heaven who will gladly take my pain away.

 

 

 

 

This is Joseph. And this is the moment I found out he was going to be serving in the Denver, Colorado mission. Have I ever mentioned that this guy gives the best hugs in the history of the world? I wish I could buy them at the store and bottle them up, then give myself one on a bad day cause these things are killer. Will knock a frown right off your face every single time. And I am SO proud of him. I have never met a person in my life so eager to serve! I'm not exaggerating when I say he will make the best missionary in the whole world. I'm hoping this all makes him very embarrassed :) And I am so ready for him to start this new chapter in his life. Gosh it will be a great one.

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

Aimless

I have been so awful with updating, I wish I had enough time to write everyday but I also wish I didn't have to wear a bra. Some things in life just aren't fair!

 

Because I have been so awful with updating and I have nothing in particular to rant about, I will just flood you all with pictures and the random thoughts that perplex my mind.

I'm gushing at the thought that some people might actually care about reading my blog

So here goes nothing!

 

College. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to go to BYUI. Don't know why the topic of college bothers me so much if I love BYUI and want to go there so badly? It's where I have pictured myself forever, I love the weather and location, want to get married fresh out of high school, its inexpensive and perfect. So why do I think about that decision so much? Well probably because it will dictate my life and who I do end up marrying. Hmm. I'm stumped. Don't know what it is about me that makes me so obsessive compulsive about the future because I'm always so worried about it, must just be something programed in me. There's nothing wrong with being prepared?

 

Kissing. It should be short and sweet and personal. PERSONAL. So you shouldn't talk about it like the weather. That's all I'm going to say.

 

"And you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch. Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinking of" -Taylor Swift

 

"Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time"

-Come What May, Moulin Rouge

This song has been stuck in my head all week

 

Pimples. Gosh I hate them. They're like your crazy ex, always showing up at the worst time and ruining everything. UGGH.

 

Junk food. We have a love/hate relationship, shamefully its mostly a love relationship. I either find myself eating reeeallllyyy reaaally healthy or crap. Just me? And as soon as I have a really good healthy food streak going on I wind up eating an ice cream cone or two

I'm weak for soft serve

Or a big bag of BBQ Pop chips, oh my those are heavenly. I don't think my eating habits are normal. I should probably work on that.

 

Technology. Are we plugging in or tuning out? Seriously, technology can be so helpful sometimes! I constantly use it for looking up recipes, its a study tool, great way to keep up with friends,       *cough, cough* blog. -but are we using it for good as much as we use it for bad? How many times in the day could you be doing something better with your time but you just sit and idol on your phone checking your fave social media outlet or playing back in a word game? Think about it. Probably more then you should, huh? Because I know I do! I have a gal friend who gave up her phone for a week, willingly. Yes... WILLINGLY. The will power of this girl, sheesh. I should take more notes. But really, she just ranted and raved to me about how much more peace she felt and how much more productive she ways. Yes she missed her Instagram and Pinterest for the first two days but after that didn't even miss it! Now that she has her phone again she still checks them, but its not an urgent compulsive check for updates. This got me thinking. Technology is GREAT, but not a necessity to live. So here I am promising to spend less time idling on my phone and maybe more time cleaning my room :)

I'm sure that would make my Mom very, very happy.

 

 

That's about it for the thoughts category, now here are a few photos that summed up my week!

 

 

Ahh, having a cat means you are never alone

 

 

The joys of babysitting:) I love this cute boy and love when he snuggles up in my arms!

 



 

I mentioned early I had a love for soft serve ice cream... I was proud of my perfect "swirly" on the top

 

 

This is my sweet friend Maddie :) She's gorgeous and has AMAZING hair. This is right before we went to a regional dance she let me do her hair! I was quite proud of my work ;)

 

And these are my four great friends in school. I typically don't do dress up spirit days but today was the exception. Happy Workout-Wednesday everyone!

 

 

Well, that pretty much sums this one up. I know it was all pretty aimless and random but I always feel a lot better when I can vent and write out everything that has been on my mind.

I hope you aren't too disturbed

 

 

All my love, Lauren.

 

 

The Last Time

When you're in the middle of a trial and searching for advice I really do think the advice you need is hiding within yourself. Right now Im heartbroken. I feel invisible to one of the most important people in my life and it sucks. It sucks to feel neglected. It sucks to feel forgotten and when you talk they rather be with anyone else. It sucks to know that you used to be their top priority but somewhere along the line you messed up and lost your status. It hurts and makes me feel totally worthless that I care so much about a person that shrugs me off.

My friend texted me about a problem shes having with another friend. It was something silly, one forgot to do something the other had asked them to do so I offered this advice... "You can't go back and change the past so why dwell on it? Lets just figure out a solution." And in the middle of my fortune cookie moment it came over me.

Its true. You can't change the past. Sometimes I think if I play my best playlist of good ol' heartbreak songs and take long bubble baths he will send me a text or ask to hang out but things don't workout that way. Sometimes and for some people they do, but you can't rely on that thread of hope because its very unlikely. If something is meant to be, it will be God's will to put you two together. So instead of sitting around and making myself miserable I will forgive him and accept the friendship between us. "Let's figure out a solution" crying wont help anything.

There's a quote that says it perfectly.

"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present."

-Lao Tzu

Its ok to be upset and miss good times but don't let it consume you. There are better things to come, I promise.

All my love, Lauren.

A Perfectly Good Heart

Boy talk. I've had my fair share of crushes, breakups, makeups, fall outs, and misunderstandings but boys have never in my life been more difficult or confusing as they are right now. I turned 16 a month ago and being mormon thats kind of a big deal. Its a big deal no matter how old you are! You can date, drive, work, you become "double the age of accountability" and you get a whole knew level of responsibility. This should be the time of my life right?

I don't mean to complain, Im pretty happy in my life! I guess Im just saying that dating is hard! Ever since the mission age change for guys turned to 18 I feel like every guy I talk to wants a girlfriend of MG (missionary girlfriend) and one day I hope I get that opportunity, but I just want to date! I want to go out on lots of dates and get to know lots of different people. I want to explore different personalities and find out what I like. If I don't ever try it how will I ever know what I could have missed out on?

When I was younger and watched my older sister and friends go out on dates it seemed like everyone had a date every weekend! Mormons are famous for loving going on dates right? All the sudden I turned 16 and nobody seems to be an active dater anymore? I have even heard some of my guy friends complain about not going on any dates!? What did you expect? That girls would pick up that initiative? Sorry no, I would feel like Im taking your man card. I guess to sum up my rant, girl want to go on dates, boys want to go on date, girls don't want to ask, guys its your job to so start asking!

I know that is extremely bold of me to say, but definitely needed to be said.

All my love, Lauren.